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Is it even possible to stand out on an online dating site anymore? There are literally tens of millions of profiles out there, but with a little thought, care and common sense, you can still present yourself in a way that will catch a man’s attention without making you look desperate or cheap.
You may not like the thought of “marketing” yourself, but that is exactly what it takes to be successful in today’s highly competitive online dating scene. With more profiles than a man can look at in a lifetime, you have only a few seconds to make an impression and get him to look more deeply into your profile and, ultimately, initiate contact.
Of course, you don’t want your dating site mailbox to be overflowing with responses from guys you have no interest in. The first thing you have to do is to define your target market. Do you want an older, conservative businessman? How about a young, active, outdoorsy type? Or maybe you are willing to take anything with a pulse. Jot down a few of your “must-haves” as well as the deal-breakers that will count him out.
You also need to know if you are looking for one guy for the long haul or for some not-so-serious romantic encounters. Put all these factors together to conjure up an image of your ideal date, and fill out the part of the profile that describes the guy you’re looking for first.
“Put a lot of thought and a little
flair and humor in your writing.”
Now that you have a pretty good idea of the man you are hoping to attract, it should be much easier to come up with some great bait in the “about yourself” section. Become a chameleon. This is not to say that you should be just like the man you want, but rather, you should complement his lifestyle and be adaptable to his world while still being yourself.
Your photo is the first thing a man will see when he’s scrolling through pages of potential dates. Remember that you have to appeal to three aspects of his male ego: his mind, his heart and his physical desires.
Assuming he’s a sincere man and joined the dating site for the right reasons, he will be looking for a woman who also seems sincere and who he can imagine sharing a meal and a laugh with. Let a friend, or even your mother, help you select a profile pic. They are more likely to be drawn to the photo of the endearing “you” with the sparkle in your eye and the little smirk they love, while you may be obsessed with every hair being in place and looking like a sculpted goddess.
Extreme beauty and perfection is very intimidating for a man. He wants a woman who, first of all, will not reject him and crush his fragile ego. Don’t forget that he’s also taking a chance when he reaches out to you. Contacting you makes him very vulnerable, so make sure you appear very approachable.
Approachability is not only about appearance. If you brag yourself up too much, you might turn off Mr. Right. If he thinks you will want to drag him out for a long walk on the beach every night and hiking up a mountain every weekend, he might go on to the next pretty face. Of course, if that is the niche you are comfortable in and want to appeal to, go for it. Just remember you may be seriously limiting your pool of suitors.
Riding horses in the moonlight may sound great in your romance novels, but it may not have a broad appeal within your target demographic. A humorous reference to some of these overblown profiles might be better.
Just be sure to minimize the romanticized glimpses into your fantasy world and include some of your down-to-earth habits and guilty pleasures. If you like Wednesday happy hours and darts with your co-workers, you might seem like a prize made in heaven for a lot of everyday guys. If you like to watch “Fringe” in your jammies on Friday nights while eating artichoke pizza, you might appeal to dozens of great guys — as long as you’re willing to put pepperoni on half of the pizza.
So, roll the dice and see what happens. You can’t win if you don’t play the game. You can always change your profile or check out a different dating site if things don’t work out the way you’d like. Put a lot of thought and a little flair and humor in your writing, and you will be miles ahead of the millions of girls who just do the bare minimum to set up a profile.