I Don’t Get Any Responses. What Are Men Really Looking For?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

It seems like no matter who I’ve tried to connect with, I don’t get any response. I even made an attempt to someone I already knew who popped up as a 90 percent match for me. He didn’t respond. I’m getting completely disheartened. I fit many of their profile requests but still have no luck.

What are men really looking for?

-Carla (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Without seeing your online profile, I can’t tell exactly where the flaws in your photo or description are. In my new book, “The 30 Day Love Detox,” I have devoted an entire chapter to online profile writing and using online dating sites. While I can’t fit in all the information here, I’d love to give you a few pointers:

1. Pout, don’t smile.

Yes, that silly little duck face on women gets statistically more clicks online than a smile.

2. Under estimate your height.

Shorter women get more clicks than tall women.

3. Take a photo in your home with no flash.

A picture that doesn’t use a flash can make you look up to seven years younger, and professional photos don’t get as many clicks as natural ones.

4. Use perfect grammar in your profile.

If you don’t care about yourself enough to make your profile grammatically correct, how can you care enough about your relationships?

5. Don’t chase men with emails.

That will turn them off. Instead view a lot of profiles without sending a message. Men will know who viewed them and wonder why you didn’t write them.

6. Be authentic and unique.

Trying to please everyone means you’re not going to passionately energize anyone.

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