I Don’t Get Any Responses. What Are Men Really Looking For?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

It seems like no matter who I’ve tried to connect with, I don’t get any response. I even made an attempt to someone I already knew who popped up as a 90 percent match for me. He didn’t respond. I’m getting completely disheartened. I fit many of their profile requests but still have no luck.

What are men really looking for?

-Carla (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Without seeing your online profile, I can’t tell exactly where the flaws in your photo or description are. In my new book, “The 30 Day Love Detox,” I have devoted an entire chapter to online profile writing and using online dating sites. While I can’t fit in all the information here, I’d love to give you a few pointers:

1. Pout, don’t smile.

Yes, that silly little duck face on women gets statistically more clicks online than a smile.

2. Under estimate your height.

Shorter women get more clicks than tall women.

3. Take a photo in your home with no flash.

A picture that doesn’t use a flash can make you look up to seven years younger, and professional photos don’t get as many clicks as natural ones.

4. Use perfect grammar in your profile.

If you don’t care about yourself enough to make your profile grammatically correct, how can you care enough about your relationships?

5. Don’t chase men with emails.

That will turn them off. Instead view a lot of profiles without sending a message. Men will know who viewed them and wonder why you didn’t write them.

6. Be authentic and unique.

Trying to please everyone means you’re not going to passionately energize anyone.

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