I Don’t Get Past Emails. Where Are the Men of High Caliber?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I re-entered the world of dating after being divorced almost four years. I find myself in an awkward category: 59 years old, mental health administrator, very young looking and high energy level, an 11-year-old son who spends increasing amounts of time with his father.

A few gentlemen who I felt were interested backed away upon reflecting they did not wish to be involved with a woman whose children were not grown.

I have had very few actual dates. I don’t seem to be getting past emails or some phone calls.

Where are the men of high caliber, who genuinely want to meet a good woman, date one woman at a time and nurture a relationship and see where it leads?

-Lydia (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Lydia,

I’ll tell you one thing: Those men are few and far between. But they are out there.

More important than where are they is the question of where are you?

With a young son, are you really ready to get cozy in some blended family?

If so, then you need to limit your search to men who are fathers, men who understand your commitment to your family.

Although with this caveat that your son is spending more time with his father, I wonder what that says about your bond with your son.

Bonding with children actually helps us be more equipped to bond with a lover.

Next, I ask you to re-evaluate your self-worth.

I don’t know about you, but when I read your laundry list description, I felt like you categorized yourself as old, boring and matronly. (With an obligatory, youthful energetic side).

Why not think about your amazing personality traits a guy might be interested in? Are you compassionate? Loving? Funny? Talented?

When you truly love yourself and feel genuinely proud of yourself, men will like that.

This might be the day to write a love letter to yourself and remind yourself of why you are so lovable. Because you are.

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