I Don’t Get Past Emails. Where Are the Men of High Caliber?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!

Reader Question:

I re-entered the world of dating after being divorced almost four years. I find myself in an awkward category: 59 years old, mental health administrator, very young looking and high energy level, an 11-year-old son who spends increasing amounts of time with his father.

A few gentlemen who I felt were interested backed away upon reflecting they did not wish to be involved with a woman whose children were not grown.

I have had very few actual dates. I don’t seem to be getting past emails or some phone calls.

Where are the men of high caliber, who genuinely want to meet a good woman, date one woman at a time and nurture a relationship and see where it leads?

-Lydia (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Lydia,

I’ll tell you one thing: Those men are few and far between. But they are out there.

More important than where are they is the question of where are you?

With a young son, are you really ready to get cozy in some blended family?

If so, then you need to limit your search to men who are fathers, men who understand your commitment to your family.

Although with this caveat that your son is spending more time with his father, I wonder what that says about your bond with your son.

Bonding with children actually helps us be more equipped to bond with a lover.

Next, I ask you to re-evaluate your self-worth.

I don’t know about you, but when I read your laundry list description, I felt like you categorized yourself as old, boring and matronly. (With an obligatory, youthful energetic side).

Why not think about your amazing personality traits a guy might be interested in? Are you compassionate? Loving? Funny? Talented?

When you truly love yourself and feel genuinely proud of yourself, men will like that.

This might be the day to write a love letter to yourself and remind yourself of why you are so lovable. Because you are.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.