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I still remember one of the first dates I met on a dating site. We clicked online, but something seemed off in person. Despite the fact that my profile openly stated that I was 5 feet 10 inches tall, I don’t think that my date — who seemed a bit shorter than his profile stated — thought I was being serious. That was the moment I learned that tall girls often have another obstacle on dating websites compared to shorter women. And that’s not even adding dressy heels to the equation.
While that particular date wasn’t necessarily a love connection, other dates proved that height doesn’t always have to be a dating dealbreaker. Often, if one partner feels insecure about their own height, it can lead to a bigger issue down the road. Still, it’s important to navigate those topics beforehand, so you and your date both aren’t blindsided during that first in-person meetup. Here are some tall dating tips from someone who fully understands the struggle.
1. Join a Female-Friendly Online Dating Site
Some online dating sites are a little better than others at putting emphasis on personality over appearance. Of course, one of the most popular is Match.
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Match is one of the most successful dating apps on the market, fostering more long-term connections than many of its competitors. Match also offers free signup, but you can also opt to buy a premium account if you want to unlock more features to help you find your ideal partner.
Around 30% of people who opt for online dating sites use Match, meaning that you’ll likely find quite a few compatible partners. It’s a great place to start, and is known worldwide, with users in 40 countries accessing the platform.
If you’re looking for a partner who has the same Christian values as you, ChristianMingle is a popular destination. ChristianMingle has a split of 44% men to 56% women and more than 2.4 million singles visit the site every day. Those seeking a faith-based connection can’t go wrong with the platform.
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Bumble is also a welcoming site because it gives women the opportunity to make the first move. Wired UK once referred to Bumble as being the “new feminist competitor” to Tinder, since the two have somewhat similar methods of swiping to start a connection. That seems fitting, as Bumble was created by a woman who used to work at Tinder. That said, with Bumble, women have the choice to follow up. So if you scan someone’s profile and catch a red flag, you won’t have to worry about having them randomly message you at 2 a.m.
2. While You’re Online, Make Your Height Part of Your Profile
This was probably my bigest mistake. I figured that listing my height in my profile would mean all potential dates would see it. But, apparently, many online daters skim over that information.
Consider making a joke about your height in your headline, and see if anyone responds. Remember, a lot of people are attracted to tall women — you just have to make it known that you fit that criteria.
Humor is also a great way to break the ice. You should never be ashamed of your height. Instead, embrace it and make it one of the many reasons why you’re a catch. Height is often a grass-is-always-greener issue, meaning that if you’re not happy with how tall you are, you should remember that many short people would love to add inches to their height.
Being open about it shows confidence and prepares your date in advance. While most people aren’t necessarily turned off by height, the initial shock of seeing someone look different than what they imagined could set an immediate damper on your first date.
3. Don’t Slouch – Be the Full You On Dates
Tall women are all familiar with “the slouch” — it’s usually something that happens naturally when in the presence of shorter people. If you had your growth spurt at a young age, it may have morphed into part of your stature.
It’s important to try to break the habit, especially when meeting new people. A natural and healthy posture shows confidence. Even if you’re not feeling the most confident at the time, standing up straight can make a big difference.
Aside from dating, improving your posture is also a good move to help support your back and neck. Consider this move as doing a favor for yourself by improving your general health, even if the date doesn’t pan out.
4. Seek Places Where You Feel Comfortable Meeting People
Height aside, this remains true for all current daters; if the environment feels off, it’ll be harder to focus on the date. Tall women might be feeling a little worried about that first meetup, so it’s especially important to choose a public place that feels comfortable.
If you’re unsure how the date will go, try to avoid going to your favorite place, and instead choose a familiar place that doesn’t hold as much special meaning. If the date goes well, you can save your favorite destinations for when you’re more familiar with each other.
It’s also a good idea to meet up at a place with other people around. That could be an outdoor sporting event if it’s something you both want to attend, or even a group class that you’ve enjoyed before.
No matter what destination you pick, it is a good idea to tell a trusted friend where you are. While the likelihood of something bad happening is slim, it’s still important for people to know your location when you’re out with someone new.
If you haven’t found a partner yet, you might also find some luck with speed dating. That way, your potential partner knows how tall you are from the get-go, even before knowing anything else about you.
And you may not realize it, but there’s also an app just for tall people to find their match, called DateUp (which is pretty clever). Your profile includes height verification, ensuring your stature is visible to all. Since this is a height-based app, it’s unlikely you’ll find someone who feels intimidated by tall women.
5. Don’t Discount a Shorter Guy as a Potential Match
Just like you wouldn’t want to feel rejected by your height, you also shouldn’t make shorter men or women feel bad about theirs. Height is something no one can control, and by making it an issue, you can make others feel as if they’ll never measure up — literally.
Shorter men can have wonderful personalities and treat you with respect and dedication. While they might not be your first choice, physically, you never know where a relationship with a shorter man may lead until you give it a shot. You could find yourself pleasantly surprised.
And it’s important to remember that anyone in your friend or family group who hassles you about the height difference likely doesn’t understand your relationship. It’s better to date a shorter partner who treats you right than a tall person who doesn’t prioritize you and your happiness. Sometimes, the way someone treats you will make them far more physically attractive.
That said, it’s perfectly fine to have preferences, physical and otherwise. Just don’t be afraid to take a chance on a potential date if height is the only reason holding you back.
Tall Women Don’t Have to Hide in the Dating Scene
No matter how tall you are, it’s important to maintain confidence in yourself and what you have to give to others. As a tall woman, dating may feel intimidating, but to the right person, height won’t matter whatsoever. The most important part of finding a partner is to choose someone who gives you the space to be yourself.
Putting on a fake persona or trying to appear shorter will only harm your connection with someone in the long run. Be proud of what you have to offer, and try not to take all those, “Do you play basketball?” questions to heart. Typically, people only ask that when they’re trying to break the ice and get to know you, not to make you feel bad about your physical gift.
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