I Tried Christian Mingle & Met Respectful Matches

Overview

I joined Christian Mingle as a 24-year-old loosely practicing Catholic woman to see if I could find connections that resonated with my values and belief system. I used the free version of the site to poke around and explore profiles, which I found to be high-quality and well-written. I then upgraded to the paid version to better my messaging and matching experience. I found Christian Mingle to be one of the more respectful dating sites I’ve seen, and I was pleased with the quality of profiles. However, their limited number of likes for free profiles and inability to chat without matching made it difficult to connect at first. Once I switched to a paid plan, it became much easier to find faith-driven connections.

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My relationship with religion has had its ups and downs. I went to Catholic school from kindergarten through twelfth grade. I still largely identify as Catholic.

My family is what I’d call “culturally Catholic.” We don’t always go to church, but the values of Catholicism have definitely shaped our lives.

I don’t always know what I believe as far as faith is concerned, but I generally believe that growing up in the Church was a net positive for my life. So I decided seeing how a Christian relationship might look for me was a good idea.

I joined Christian Mingle to explore relationships with other Christians and see what a Christian relationship meant for them. Having never dated on an explicitly Christian platform, I was curious to see if the site would feel stuffy in comparison to more general dating sites, or if the Christian basis for the site would result in solid connections from the jump.

Getting Started on Christian Mingle

The site layout was elegant and easy to navigate. I breezed through the registration process. It had a lot of steps to it, but they were all logical and glitch-free, so it didn’t take me much more than 15 minutes start to finish.

Something I really appreciated about the Christian Mingle signup process was how segmented the different sections of the profile setup were. Since this is a longer signup, it made it easier to know what information to have on hand and what the natural stopping points would be for me along the way.

It comes down to five steps, and I’ll walk you through what each entails.

Step 1: Setting Up the Basics

All I needed to create my Christian Mingle account was a functioning email. Once I submitted that, I put in my email verification code and started setting up my profile.

Christian Mingle guided me through setting up my basic information: My first name, my location, my age, and my gender. I had the option to set my location somewhere other than my current location — a huge help for anyone who might be moving or travels frequently. 

I did notice that I only had the option to set my gender as “male” or “female.” As a cisgender woman, this wasn’t an issue for me, but it’s worth noting for any nonbinary Christians (who do exist!) that Christian Mingle is not particularly inclusive when it comes to gender identity.

Step 2: Defining My Faith 

After I got all my basics set, it was time to dig into the reason I came to Christian Mingle: To connect with religious matches. 

Christian Mingle profiles have a long section for singles to define what being a Christian means for them. 

It started with what is, for most people, the simplest part of their faith: Their denomination. For me, that’s Catholic, though it doesn’t matter for my partner to be Catholic as well. These were the denominations I had the option of choosing between:

After that, I was asked how often I attended Church, with options ranging from every week to never. For me, it’s occasional.

I think that’s pretty useful information for Christians who may not want to date someone with a dramatically different level of church involvement from them.

I also completed a writing prompt to discuss my faith practices. Again, I think this was a smart prompt for Christian Mingle to give its users to discuss what their faith means to them.

For instance, I’m much more interested in the community and tradition-oriented side of religion, while others focus more on their personal relationship with Jesus. Knowing if someone thinks about these parts of faith in the same way is useful for determining compatibility.

Lastly, I had an opportunity to write about mission trips, if I had ever been on one (I have not). I know that for many Christians, mission trips are a fundamental part of their faith. It’s an impactful conversation starter that gets at the heart of Christianity.

Mission trips are not really my cup of tea, but again, it’s useful to know how a partner feels about them and if it’s something you have in common.

Step 3: Writing About Myself

Finally, I got to the traditional part of a dating profile: Writing about myself and what I’m looking for.

I was asked the basic dating site questions: My level of education, my occupation, and my political ideology. Then I was given a drop-down list of qualities that describe me and my personality. I don’t know how good a sense you can get of someone’s personality from characteristics on a list, but it can still be useful to know how they perceive themselves.

I also had the option to put down my interests and hobbies. I had many listed options to choose between, from running (one of my main hobbies) to board games. 

Crucially, I could share if I had kids or wanted them. Knowing whether someone already has children in deciding if you’re compatible for dating (As a 24-year-old, I feel I would currently be ill-equipped to navigate being a stepmom).

And for many Christian relationships that are bent toward impending marriage, making sure you’re on the same page about whether or not kids are in the future might be an important component of deciding to move forward with a relationship.

Here I hit a roadblock: I got blocked from my account. I’d been deemed a potential threat to the Christian Mingle community. Whether the site could tell that I’m a writer and doubted my motives or it was just a run-of-the-mill glitch is beyond me.

I reported the error to Christian Mingle, and it took a whopping three days for my account to be live again. 

I’d expect that most Christian Mingle users are in it for the long haul, and so waiting an extra few days to get your profile off the ground might not be a huge deal. But it’s worth noting that the system is sensitive, and you might run into some signup issues like I did.

Once I got my profile back and running, I was asked if I smoke (never) and if I drink (socially). Then, I was prompted to write my bio. Given how much information was already in my profile, I kept my bio short and sweet.

Step 4: Describing My Ideal Companion

After I finished writing about myself, I had a chance to fill out some information about my ideal partner on Christian Mingle.

I got to choose gender, which I was pleasantly surprised by, given that there were only male and female options. Still, I could only pick one or the other, and of course, there were no options for other non-cisgender identities to be my partner preference.

Then I selected what type of relationship I was looking for — another pleasant surprise given the common focus on dating for marriage in Christian spaces. That was, of course, an option, but I could also indicate that I was looking for something more casual or that I wasn’t sure what I wanted.

I could also set the distance I was willing to date, from a few miles from my home to several thousand miles. I set my distance preferences far so I could see what was out there across the country.

Lastly, I could choose the age range I was willing to date, going all the way from 18 to 99 (I guess those centenarians are out of luck).

Step 5: Upload Photos and Get Searching

Right before my profile could go live, I was prompted to add at least two photos. Personally, I love that I had to add two pictures — even on sites that require you to upload one picture, you don’t always get the best sense for what someone looks like and what they’re up to.

Once I uploaded my photos, my profile went live! Here it is:

The signup process was extensive (and took even longer due to a block on my account for three days), but I liked that the result was wholesome, detailed, and values-driven.

My Free Experience: High-Quality, But Self-Led

I was actually pretty happy with my free experience on Christian Mingle. The site design was clear and elegant, making it easy to navigate as a new user. 

And because the profiles have so many specific fields, I found most of them to be very informative and to give me a good sense of who someone is at a glance.

Unlike most sites, free users can message on Christian Mingle. However, I found some limitations in viewing profiles. I couldn’t see who liked me first, and my list of recommended profiles was a mere three a day.

Because both users have to like each other before they can match, not being able to see your likes first makes getting matches a little more difficult.

The Discover Page Offered Good Info

While I was a free user, my only significant way of finding matches was to go through my Discover page. 

There were certainly some quality guys from around the country in the age range I set (22-30). But I didn’t get any matches. 

I’d imagine that guys who did like my profile probably went higher in my queue, but because I couldn’t see them and my distances were set so wide, it was tricky to find a match.

My Recommended List Was Only 3 Profiles

When most people think of dating platforms, they think of swiping through a sea of algorithmically curated profiles. Sometimes that level of fast-paced matching can be missing on niche dating sites, but that isn’t the case on Christian Mingle.

In addition to the general Discover page, I was able to use Christian Mingle’s Recommended page to find matches that were more directly curated to me. 

To be honest, I wasn’t blown away by the profiles that were coming up on my Recommended page. It was difficult to see how they were the most compatible with me. While they were (mostly) around my age, they had some pretty fundamental differences from me.

I identified myself as a liberal who does not want children, and yet most of the profiles suggested in my Recommended page were conservatives who wanted kids.

I understand that those types of men are abundant on Christian Mingle, and perhaps the matching software doesn’t weigh these factors super heavily.

Don’t get me wrong: I know that plenty of people are comfortable having significant differences of opinion with their partners, and perhaps for the singles on Christian Mingle, faith compatibility feels more important than political compatibility. 

But I felt like my matches fell short of my personal standards.

Going Pro: It Was Much Easier to Match

The free version of Christian Mingle is pretty decent. I’ve been on other sites with much more restrictions on chatting (like eharmony where only paid subscribers can read or send messages).

All matches can message for free on Christian Mingle. That means both of you liked each other’s profiles. I really like this policy because it minimize harassment.

I did have to sift through profiles for a bit to find matches, but I was relieved that there wasn’t a time limit or messaging limit once the match was created. Still, having a premium profile is a huge advantage.

Here’s the premium price breakdown:

For me, the biggest advantage to getting a premium profile was that I could see who already liked me. 

Since free members can’t see who liked them, they can be swiping through the Discover feed for quite a while before actually making a match. 

When I could see who had already liked me, it was way easier to narrow my search more quickly and actually chat with people.

I found the paid experience much more fruitful than trying to like profiles at random and hoping for the best. I could create matches by going to my like list and sending likes to guys who were already interested in me.

In addition to seeing profile likes, the premium plan lets me send unlimited likes on the discover and recommended pages. Free users only get 10 likes per day, which is pretty low when you have no clue who’s already liked you. 

Paid members get 10 recommended profiles instead of 3 each day.

The price of a single month of Christian Mingle might be steep, but the monthly cost goes down dramatically for longer subscription windows. 

And since most people are dating on Christian Mingle for longer-term relationships, I would recommend signing up for a longer subscription. When you’re looking for a soul mate, it might take a few months to find them.

All Incoming Messages Were Polite

I didn’t have the opportunity to message anyone on the free version of Christian Mingle. I was technically allowed to message for free…but only if someone I’d liked sent a like back.

With the free platform, I found it so difficult to match that I never did get a conversation going.

Once I switched to the premium plan, messaging became a lot easier. I was able to go into my likes list and create matches much more quickly. It gave me the ability to start the conversation on my own terms.

I found the men I messaged with to be extremely respectful and friendly. No one was too forward. No talk of sex or what I was wearing. 

I saw plenty of polite greetings and inquiries about how my day was going. When I sent a general “hey” to a local guy named Brody, I got a response within 20 minutes, which is pretty impressive.

One man told me about his volunteer work at church, and another asked if I was close with my family.

It makes sense: Most people on Christian Mingle are looking for a wholesome relationship, and they bring that mentality into their communication on the app.

New Integrated Matchmaking Tools

In addition to its traditional dating platform side, Christian Mingle also offers matchmaking built into the dating site. 

I didn’t go through with the matchmaking. While it’s integrated into the site, it’s a different, more bespoke service, but I thought it was an interesting model.

Singles interested in matchmaking meet with one of Christian Mingle’s team of Dating Specialists — or matchmakers — who learn about you and what you want for a relationship. Then they introduce you to other singles within the Christian Mingle orbit, and if you’re interested, you can meet for a video date.

“Matchmaking” is one of five options on my site dashboard. And it really does function like traditional matchmaking, just a bit more streamlined, given its placement in this much larger business. 

For Christians who want a bit more outside input in their dating process, it seems like a pretty good spot to cover all your bases.

What I Like & Don’t Like

I like how streamlined the site layout is. I had an easy time navigating it, and I found it aesthetically pleasing.

I like the depth of the profiles I saw. Even guys I wouldn’t usually go for offered a lot of personal information.

I like the specificity of questions asked when setting up my profile, especially those pertaining to my Christian faith.

On the other hand, I don’t like how long it took me to set up my profile and how long it took to resolve the block on my account.

I also wasn’t a huge fan of the matches I was given. I felt like the guys in my Recommended list had very little in common with what I said I wanted.

I like that free users can message on the site, but I don’t like how difficult it is to match with anyone. Free messaging hardly matters if you can’t make a match in the first place.

Finally, I wish I’d seen more diverse gender and sexual identities. I get that Christian Mingle is a Christian site and thus rooted in more traditional heteronormative beliefs, but LGBTQ+ Christians exist. 

Values-First Christians Are in Good Company Here

While I didn’t find many matches on Christian Mingle, I do believe that someone could. If you’re looking to date with your Christian beliefs first and foremost, Christian Mingle is a refreshing spot with a higher percentage of practicing Christians than you’d find on just about any other site.

If you’re more casually religious, it might not be the right place for you. Many of the bios I encountered discussed an interest in “deepening their relationship with Jesus Christ” or “finding a relationship rooted in Jesus.” 

That’s just not me, and that’s okay. While more casually religious and agnostic folks are welcome here, I think those with strong Christian roots and traditions have the most success here.

As dating culture moves more firmly online, Christian Mingle offers a great option for singles who want to find love while staying true to their beliefs. There’s no need to hit on the only other young person in your Bible study. You can meet a like-minded soul on Christian Mingle.