I Don’t Know if We’re Serious Enough. What Do I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

This guy and I have been dating for three months, and we already had sexual intercourse. My feelings for him are really deep. We’ve had some trust issues along the way because I checked his phone. When I questioned him about the other girl, he claims, “Elle, we aren’t in a relationship.” We practically live together and sleep together all the time. I met his family, but I don’t know if he should meet mine because I don’t know if we’re serious enough.

What do I do?

-Elle (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Oh my sweet, dear Elle. You made the mistake of so many women in a high-supply sexual economy. You thought sex before a commitment would lead to a commitment.

Sadly, it never does. Some words of “who are we” and “what are our feelings for each other” need to be expressed BEFORE sex happens. I know one NY woman who has a 20-date rule just to weed out the guys who aren’t in it for the long haul.

But it may not be too late. Give him a taste of your morals. If he won’t be exclusive because you two are “not in a relationship,” then you tell him you only have sex with people you are in an exclusive relationship with. Then quietly, but firmly, close your legs.

Now be prepared for the consequences. You may lose him, but if you continue the way you are, you are guaranteed to lose him and maybe gain an STD and a broken heart.

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