Reader Question:
I started worrying my fiance didn’t want me anymore. I saw him talking to this girl on Facebook that has the same name as me. So I thought it would be a genius idea to hack into his account and message her.
Come to find out they have known each other for years and years. She told him about it and he has every right to be mad. He has told me he wants to work it out. I don’t know how to regain his trust and show him I will never do anything like that again.
Can you help?
-Sara (West Virginia)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Oh dear, Sara. You’ve got yourself in quite a pickle. You didn’t trust him, so you behaved in an untrustworthy manner yourself.
I’m happy to hear he is man enough to want to work it out, but you’ve got to work on containing yourself. Being sneaky about threats of abandonment is no way to start a marriage.
Talk things out. Ask yourself if your feelings of jealousy are related to a real threat or your own anxiety. I know it can be hard to tell sometimes. Usually people who fear abandonment tend to be attracted to people who activate their fears.
Take the time to grow a mutual trust. And no more Facebook stalking. It will make you nuts!
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