This Guy I Slept with is Sending Me Sexual Texts. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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Reader Question:

I met this guy recently, we went on a date, and it went very well. We then decided to just take it to the next level that night. However, it was him who initiated it. After sex, he was still surprisingly engaged.

The thing is that he has also been sending me very demeaning, sexual texts, and it’s very confusing and somewhat offensive. It’s like on the one hand, he’s interested in me as a person. Yet on the other, he’s a sexual deviant.

What do you think he wants, and what should I do about this? Please help!

-Aubrey P. (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Here’s the good news: The double standard is all but erased and women can have sexual freedom. But here’s the bad news: Only women have dumped the double standard.

Sorry to tell you that most men put women in one of two categories — women they would like to marry and women they would like to F—K.

On a first date, most men are not sure which category to put a woman in, but if the relationship becomes sexual fast, they take your cue. I’m sorry to tell you, you’ll have a heck of a time turning this booty call into a relationship.

You’re only hope is to not respond to sexual texts ever. If he calls, explain that you feel bad by having sex on the first date and you’d like to step back, become friends, and see where it goes from there.

He may scram after that. And you learned a valuable lesson. I’m sorry, sweetie.

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