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Dr. Wendy Walsh
I met this guy recently, we went on a date, and it went very well. We then decided to just take it to the next level that night. However, it was him who initiated it. After sex, he was still surprisingly engaged.
The thing is that he has also been sending me very demeaning, sexual texts, and it’s very confusing and somewhat offensive. It’s like on the one hand, he’s interested in me as a person. Yet on the other, he’s a sexual deviant.
What do you think he wants, and what should I do about this? Please help!
-Aubrey P. (California)
Here’s the good news: The double standard is all but erased and women can have sexual freedom. But here’s the bad news: Only women have dumped the double standard.
Sorry to tell you that most men put women in one of two categories — women they would like to marry and women they would like to F—K.
On a first date, most men are not sure which category to put a woman in, but if the relationship becomes sexual fast, they take your cue. I’m sorry to tell you, you’ll have a heck of a time turning this booty call into a relationship.
You’re only hope is to not respond to sexual texts ever. If he calls, explain that you feel bad by having sex on the first date and you’d like to step back, become friends, and see where it goes from there.
He may scram after that. And you learned a valuable lesson. I’m sorry, sweetie.
No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.