What He Says Vs What He Does

Women's Dating

What He Says vs. What He Does

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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Conventional wisdom tells us women are the ones who are impossible to understand and simply cannot be figured out using male logic and reason. Now, as true as that may seem to men at times, it is also undeniable that the so-called “rational” male can leave you ladies confused and even dumbfounded when his actions are the complete opposite of his words. Let me help you translate some of his “man-speak.”

“I’m not ready for a relationship.”

You might have dated this guy. He tells you he is just not ready for a committed relationship, and two months later he’s engaged to Miss Hottie Airhead with the new silicone job. Well, you already know the meaning here. When he says, “I don’t want a relationship,” he means, “I don’t want a relationship with you.” Either cut him loose or don’t give him any of those benefits that are reserved for a committed relationship — at least not after every date.

“I like you a lot. See ya around!”

So, what does it mean when he says he really likes you, but then he rushes off with just a brief lip lock at the end of the night or, worse yet, turns down your invitation to come in for a cup of coffee when he drops you off? Don’t worry. It may not be as bad as it seems.

If you’re dating Snoop Dogg, it might well mean he is waiting for the medication to cure his STDs, or maybe he has some hot action waiting for him at home. But, if your date is more akin to David Archuletta, it could mean he might just be afraid of disappointing you physically. Take it slow, and find ways to relax him in a low-pressure environment.


” If you do confront him,

read his body language.”

“Of course, I want to meet your family. How about in 2064?”

He says he wants to be involved in your life, meet your folks and go out with your friends, but “now” never seems to be the right time. Men are independent free spirits, afraid of commitment and cowardly puppy dogs.

It takes time to get the bucking out of the bronco, to get him to try sushi and get him to willingly walk into the front door of Orchestra Hall to see a ballet. Chances are, he will learn to like being saddled by a great girl like you, sharing your favorite foods and enjoying some of your pastimes.  But, like the puppy he is, he needs to be gently coaxed over time, and he needs to feel comfortable in the knowledge that he won’t lose his freedom or his man parts in the process.

One more thing. 

All in all, men really are reasonable creatures. But they are often lured in by the candy and have a hard time realizing they’ve really grown to like the meat and potatoes behind your gorgeous exterior.

They also have a hard time owning up to their own feelings or telling you when those feelings don’t run deep. Try to use your intuition and gut instincts. If you do confront him with serious questions about his feelings and your relationship, make sure you read his body language and not just his words.

On the bright side, though, you can also learn a lot from what men don’t say. If he says he likes you every five minutes while also looking at you with glowing eyes and a perpetual smile, squeezing you like there’s no tomorrow and swallows you whole with his kisses, he probably forgot to mention he’s falling in love with you — fast and hard.

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