Women's Dating

When to Say “Yes” to Sex

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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There’s a time and a place for sex, especially if you want to keep a relationship for longer than a couple weeks.

So, unless you can check off the following three criteria, prematurely hopping into bed with your partner may ruin your chances of finding committed love.

1. It’s been at least 30 days.

This means 30 days of consistent contact (text and email do not count).

There should be face time (not the iPhone kind) and phone time where you actually get to know each other and start to bond.

He shouldn’t “disappear” for a few days at a time, flake on you or ignore your phone calls. This is the time he should be impressing you and showing you how he treats a lady.

And research shows if you delay the onset of sex for at least 30 days, the chances of building a long-term relationship improve greatly.


“Delaying your sexual relationship will give you

the power to make wise feminine choices.”

2. He’s expressed he loves you.

He doesn’t have to express them in words, but he should express that he likes you a lot.

Men aren’t usually quick to say “I love you” but there are variations of it, including “I like you a lot” or “ You’re really important to me,” that have powerful meaning.

This is a sign of emotional intimacy and a declaration of his feelings for you. And it also acknowledges he understands sex and feelings are something that can be connected.

3. You’ve both acknowledged you’re exclusive.

Yes, its that awkward talk so many couples forgo, and then usually the woman regrets it because its hard to take back the power after you’ve done the deed.

Make sure you and him mutually understand the parameters of your relationship. This means blatantly asking him.

You don’t want to be exchanging bloodstreams with other women. Define clear rules and boundaries for your sexual relationship.

Delaying your sexual relationship will allow for intimacy building and will give you the power to make wise feminine choices.

You’ll build long-term relationship skills without oxytocin clouding your wisdom.

And you’ll be able to weed out the good guys from the bad. The bad guys won’t hang around for 30 days if they’re not getting sex.

Bottom line: Waiting to have sex will decrease the likelihood of heartbreak and improve your chances for a long-term relationship.

How long do you wait before you say “yes” to sex?

Photo source: hookingupsmart.com.

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