How Pick Up Lesbian Women Bars

Lesbian Dating

How to Pick Up Lesbian Women at Bars

Kara Pound

Written by: Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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So you’ve gathered the courage to venture to your very first lesbian bar. Congratulations! But you’re super nervous and not sure what to expect. Well, here are some tips and tactics to make your first lesbian bar visit a whopping success.

1. Be flirty, not desperate.

Remain confident and feel free to turn on the sex appeal, but remember to also play it cool. A woman wants to feel wanted and attractive while keeping an air of intrigue.

2. Watch your alcohol intake.

There is nothing worse than trying to attract a potential hookup while you’re slurring your words and falling down all over the place. Not sexy! Watch how much you drink and keep it classy.

3. Is she single?

Before you start walking up to every lady who makes your heart aflutter, do some reconnaissance to see if she came alone or if her girlfriend is at the bar ordering drinks.

4. Is there a mutual connection?

Before throwing yourself at a woman, ask yourself if there’s a mutual attraction/connection. If you’re doing all the talking and she seems bored, then chances are she’s bored. Pay attention to body language and eye contact.

5. Don’t rush in.

When this object of your affection walks in, let at least 10 to 15 minutes go by before rushing over to her bar stool and using your best pickup line.

Give the poor woman a moment to order a drink, scan the room and get acclimated to her surroundings.

6. Take an interest.

Pay attention once you’ve engaged her in conversation and make sure to ask her questions about herself. Nobody wants to continue a one-sided conversation.

The bar scene can be intimidating. Bring a few friends with you to mix it up and make it fun. That way, even if you don’t find a potential Miss Right, you still had a great night out with your favorite ladies.

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