Essential Dating Tips For Seniors

Senior Dating

9 Essential Dating Tips for Seniors

April Braswell

Written by: April Braswell

April Braswell

April Braswell is a senior dating expert, dating coach and professional dating profile writer. She leads dating, relationship and communication skills workshops throughout California.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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When you’re looking for romance in midlife, you have knowledge and confidence that you didn’t have when you were younger. All the things that may have held you back in your dating life in your 20s (i.e. limiting beliefs and self-criticism) can be tossed aside. You should unapologetically pursue the love you want and deserve.

Read on to discover my essential dating tips for seniors.

1. Join Online Dating Sites

If you don’t have a profile on at least one senior dating site or app, pardon my bluntness, but you need to get with the program. Online dating is not only the most popular way for singles to meet, but it’s also the most efficient way for singles to meet.

You can browse available singles in your area on your desktop, laptop, tablet, or smartphone anytime and any day. Not to mention online dating is usually 100% free.

Remember to use current photos of yourself in your profile, and share the most recent information about yourself. You don’t want to inadvertently fool anyone. You can have your friends take some good photos of you, or you can hire a professional photographer. Just make sure your true self comes through.

2. Be Proactive

This is not the time to lean back and just go with the flow, expecting that, if it’s meant to be, love will drop in your lap. Amazon may drop your package at the door, but Cupid does not drop love at your door. You’re going to have to get this for yourself.

Photo of the word proactive

Cupid isn’t going to drop a date at your front door, so you’ll have to put some effort into it.

After 50, you absolutely deserve love. You can find love. Love is out there. There are plenty of singles who are healthy and available, looking for someone wonderful like you. You just need to make some effort to find them. Combine all the different ways of meeting people into your new proactive approach.

3. Don’t Stop Trying to Meet People in Person

Yes, I want you to use senior dating sites and apps. However, don’t let online dating be your excuse to stay on the couch and stop getting out and meeting people in person. Don’t get sucked into messaging back and forth for weeks.

Get out. Engage in social activities. Go to senior dances. Join networking groups. Attend Facebook Events. Check out EventBrite and MeetUp. There are so many activities offered every day not just in your town but in the surrounding areas.

4. Let Your Friends and Family Set You Up

Many happily married seniors met their spouse via a friend, family member, or co-worker. Tell your social circle that you’re ready to date. Then, in the very next sentence, ask them, “Who do you know who’s single, nice, and over 50? Would you fix us up on a blind date, or would you prefer to arrange for us to bump into each other at your Friday night potluck?”

Photo of matchmaker in the dictionary

Don’t be afraid to let the people in your life fix you up on blind dates.

Often it takes several fix-ups and dates over more than a year before you meet your perfect midlife mate. Keep at it. Ask other people to help out, including your fellow church members.

5. Build Up Your Social Circle for a Rich Life, and Romance Won’t Be Far Behind

There are so many reasons to enrich your social circle after 50. If you were married before and are now divorced, some of your married friends may have disappeared. Not to mention you probably have some empty nester friends who moved to be closer to family.

Since you are no longer in college surrounded by peers and pursuing shared activities, you’ll need to make concerted efforts to meet new friends as a senior.

Having a wonderful circle of friends sustains you mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. You can turn to them for support during your dating ups and downs. Also you don’t want your potential midlife mate to share all your friends and hobbies. It’s nice to have some independence.

6. Pursue Hobbies

Get out of the house. Pursue new interests, and deepen existing ones. When you are engaged in life, you radiate vitality. Not only will you be more interesting and your life more fulfilled, but you will be more attractive to potential senior dates.

Photo of seniors dancing

Take a dance class, sign up for photography lessons, or join a local club, and you’re sure to meet compatible people.

I’m a big fan of dancing, whether it’s square dancing, contra dancing, or salsa. Signing up for a dance class is something I recommend to all of my senior dating coaching clients. You will meet so many people. Plus, it’s fun and great exercise.

7. Volunteer in Your Community

Get involved in your community and give back. You have so much experience and acumen to give others. Share it. Volunteer. Mentor.

As you do, you’ll meet other like-minded, warm-hearted seniors who care about their communities and who are committed to making a difference in the world. That’s who most people want to marry. Be one of them.

8. Don’t Worry About What Your Adult Children Think

Stop worrying so much that your adult children will have a problem with your dating. Heaven forbid you have an intimate life again with someone who isn’t their beloved parent. Don’t let them block you from finding happiness as they work through their feelings about this new phase of your life.

Photo of senior couple with adult children

Your adult children may give you a hard time about dating, but you deserve to find romance if that’s what you want.

Yes, be gracious to your children, but you don’t need to baby them. Do what you can to assist them during this unprecedented time. Listen to them vent their feelings every now and then. But don’t put your wants and needs in last place.

9. Don’t Neglect Your Finances Just Because You’re Dating Again

You need to nurture your retirement savings. I’m happy that you’re seeking an active dating life, but don’t let that derail your finances. Remember going out all the time can be expensive.

Seek out professional guidance from a qualified financial advisor. Roll over your 401K. Maximize your Roth IRA options annually. Yes, the economy plummets about every 10 to 12 years. You may need to rebuild some of your retirement plans. Look into second careers, business ownership, and seniorpreneurship to have healthy financial options and a fulfilling life after 50.

Your golden years may need some resuscitation and building up. You have options. Pursue them. Then neither you nor your senior mate will need to be the one paying for everything. You’ll be your own financial shining knight.

The Most Important Thing is to Be Yourself and Just Try

If you are your authentic self and put yourself out there, you can find love at midlife; it just takes some effort. You need to be proactive. Then celebrate finding the love of the second half of your life!

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