10 Keys To Boosting Your Sexiness Factor In The Gay Dating World Part 3

Gay Dating

10 Keys to Boosting Your “Sexiness Factor” in Gay Dating (Part 3)

Brian Rzepczynski

Written by: Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW, is “The Gay Love Coach." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs and teleclasses, please visit www.TheGayLoveCoach.com.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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We are in the final stretch now of our countdown of the top characteristics that personify a sexy single gay man on the dating market. These are the qualities that can help maximize your success in the gay dating world. If you missed Part 1 or 2, you can access those articles here.

What are some of your strengths? What are some of the areas you’d like to hone or integrate further into your repertoire?

It’s all about tailoring these suggestions to fit your unique self so you can present yourself in such a way that you become a dating magnet to those prospects who are most compatible with your requirements for a lifetime partner and relationship.

Here are the final four!

4. Being physically and emotionally available.

It’s difficult to cultivate a satisfying long-term relationship with someone if you’re never around to spend time with him.

Sexy means being attentive to your guy, carving space out of your busy life to ensure he feels like a priority and making sure to build enough shared experiences together as a couple to begin laying the foundation of intimacy and trust that will help establish your history and connectivity as partners.

Have you ever been in the situation where you meet this great new guy and he never seems to have time to get together, or at best only makes the effort to see you intermittently?

Take note of this! He’s sending you some very important information about where a relationship ranks in his priorities or about how organized he is with time management.

This characteristic also means spending time to address any “unfinished business” you may have from your past or actively dealing with current life stressors or emotional issues that may distract from your ability to be present and invested in your budding new romance.

You always want to put your best foot forward and demonstrate that you have a good head on your shoulders,  have your life together and are ready to invite someone special into your heart without any competing forces to complicate the process.

3. Being “out & proud!”

While “coming out” about your sexual identity is a very personal decision and is a choice every gay man must make for himself, it has been shown that being “out of the closet” makes for a less complicated and more freeing lifestyle when it comes to relationship functioning and happiness.

This is because you’re able to be more uninhibited, spontaneous and flexible in expressing your true self, and this combats the negative consequences and shame that comes with living in secrecy and concealing a double life (health costs, low self-esteem, hyper-vigilance about being “found out”).

Studies have shown that two men of similar degrees of “outness” tend to fare better together than those from opposite ends of the spectrum.

While this doesn’t mean you have to wave a rainbow flag everywhere you go, it does require confidence and advocacy for your right to be gay and proud.


“Your identity is defined by so much

more than just your relationship status.”

2. If you snooze, you lose.

Similar to our discussion about confidence, this characteristic of sexiness entails being a “go-getter” and being comfortable with taking initiative.

In a poll I took on my website previously, when asked if they tended to approach men they found attractive versus waiting to be the one who is pursued, the overwhelming majority of single gay men indicated they were more comfortable taking a passive stance to dating and tended to wait to be approached by other men.

This is a travesty! Imagine how many wonderful and fulfilling relationships could be formed if men could feel more secure within themselves and possess the courage to make “the first move.”

Whether it’s shyness, insecurity, fear of rejection or any other reason for this inhibition, make it your priority to work on overcoming these blocks and adopt the mantra “No More Missed Opportunities.”

You might be really glad you take that risk, particularly since you’d be in the minority of those brave enough to engage that cute guy who just walked into the room.

1. Live with passion and meaning.

The final quality that makes gay men melt is someone who lives his life with passion, spirit and purpose.

His life is full, yet balanced. He enjoys what he does and always looks for the silver lining. He’s a problem solver, a lover and wants to contribute in a meaningful way to make his mark.

These types of men light up the room when they walk in. They  have command, enjoy life and are forces to be reckoned with because they live hard and want to share this spark with everyone they come into contact with.

What are your passions and talents? What’s your life purpose? What makes you tick? What type of legacy do you want to leave behind?

By answering these questions authentically and living your life wholeheartedly, your magnetism will draw attention and inspiration.

This type of mindset is one of the key ingredients to killing off that guy-repellant known as “desperation” because your identity is defined by so much more than just your relationship status. Sexy is invigorating!

So there you have it, 10 qualities for helping to boost your “sexiness factor!” This is just the tip of the iceberg as we explore the realm of gay dating and support each other as you navigate your singlehood in a way that brings you fulfillment.

Feel free to drop your own ideas and opinions about what makes a gay man sexy in the comments box below so we can all learn from each other! Cheers!

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