10 Ways To Ruin A First Date

Gay Dating

10 Ways to Ruin a First Date

Mason Glenn

Written by: Mason Glenn

Mason Glenn

Mason Glenn has had a long career in the matchmaking industry and has spent his time helping high-caliber clientele in Los Angeles select eligible matches. He specializes in working with gay men.

See full bio »

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

With this article, I figured I would be less conversational and more direct in my approach and dating advice:

1. Texting or taking calls

Maybe when he goes to the bathroom you can tell your gal pal or best friend how it’s going in a couple of words.

Nothing says “You’re not important right now” than having the reflective light on your face during the date. If the date was important to you, you would’ve told your closest friends, and they should know you are unavailable anyway.

Sometimes I’ve left my phone in my car if I knew I would be tempted.

2. Setting up a date at a loud club or bar.

Nothing is more annoying than having to struggle to connect with your date and having to repeat yourself – or catch your date looking at a go-go dancer. Awkward.

I always like suggesting a place I’ve been before and have experienced the ambiance firsthand.

3. Having too many drinks

Nothing says “I’m a floozy or gold digger” faster than that. I don’t have to reiterate.

4. Expecting the other party to pay

Yes, even if a gentleman offers to take you out, you should always offer and be cordial. Even be nice and ask to put down the tip. Little things like that can leave a lingering positive impression at the end of the date.

Sometimes if the date is going super-well, take the opportunity to be like “I’ll pay for dessert,” allowing the date to go longer if things are going peachy keen.

5. Dressing like you’re going to the club after

Nothing says “I’m fitting you in” than dressing like you are going to the beach, which I feel a lot of gay men do to fit the “club attire” bill. Dating is a special occasion, so treat it as such.

“I always say less

is more to my clients.”

6. Not doing your homework

You probably met him at an event or via a dating website, so find out what his interests are and take interest in those things.

If you just talk about your interests, the conversation will seem one-sided and selfish. Asking him about his interests will make him feel you took time to see things in his world – big brownie points to be had there!

7. Being late

Fifteen minutes is totally excusable, especially in L.A., but more than that is a big no-no. More than that just seems like you don’t manage time well and you didn’t value the date as much as the other person did, who arrived on time.

I wouldn’t recommend fitting in a date if you know you have an important engagement before it. It’s always good to be early and set the tone that you’re a professional.

I’ve been on dates that I just left if the half-hour mark passed. No one wants to feel they have wasted time and made arrangements to see you!

8. Hearing their voice for the first time…on your first date.

If I could dismantle texting, I would. Know where your investment is. Get to know his intonation and personality, which a phone conversation gives you.

I always say less is more to my clients. Don’t give away too much. Keep the intrigue and mystery there.

9. Not keeping your promises

I get so many clients tired of dating flakes. If you say you’ll be somewhere, be there.

Your word is your bond, and if your word is sour, no one will take a chance on you again. None of this rescheduling 12 to 24 hours before, unless the situation is absolutely emergent.

Replacing your date with the next best thing will damage your reputation. We all know everyone knows everyone, so be careful.

10. Treating the date like an interview

In regards to your date, pingpong matches are much more fun than a solo game of racquetball. Let the conversation seem seamless – a give and take instead of a harsh tug-of-war match.

Sometimes I have men who have been burned so badly in past relationships that they literally are going question to question and the other guy feels he’s being interrogated. Those guys shouldn’t date (in my opinion).

So there are 10 great tips for you! Maybe you should have these handy on your next date.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.