5 Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts for Lesbians

Lesbians love and hate Valentine’s Day.

You love it when you’re in love and things are wonderful, and you can end up hating the day when you realize you’ve gotten your lover the worst gift possible in her eyes.

It’s really important to hit the bull’s-eye with gifts on this special day for lovers. Missing the mark can result in this day being frustrating and fraught with arguments, so how do you avoid that?

Don’t make the mistake of giving your lesbian lover one of these five worst Valentine’s gifts:

Romance is not practical! The absolute worst Valentine’s gifts are things that are extremely practical because there’s no romance in practicality. Avoid vacuum cleaners, garage door openers or red snow shovels.

I know she keeps saying you need a new vacuum but NOT for Valentine’s Day. Never make a household appliance a gift. It’s totally uncreative and not at all romantic.

The next worst gifts are those that are attached to the kitchen — no blenders, juicers or toasters.

She’s either going to get the message that you think she’s fat or that you like her cooking for you in the kitchen because you’re too lazy to cook.

Either way, there’s no romance in these gifts, and you’re going to the dog house tonight!

Avoid giving her anything directly associated with the kitchen and cooking.

Please no! Sure, it seems sweet, but she’s not a child anymore. Skip the stuffed animals unless you want that stuffed bear or giraffe to be who you’re sleeping with.

These are not romantic gifts that say “I love you more than anyone ever!” Opening up a box to find a dildo just won’t make her feel loved and adored deep inside. Avoid this at all costs!

Shop for sex toys together as a couple. Never make this kind of decision on your own for her because you’re bound to get in trouble with a capital T.

Or the movie only you want to see or anything that is just about what you want to do. She’s going to get upset and feel cheated by a gift for her that’s all about you.

Here’s the deal to great Valentine’s gifts: Pay attention to what she likes, what she says she wants and what makes her smile, and figure out how to make a present out of it that demonstrates you’re listening and you get her.

Make Valentine’s Day about her and the gift she is in your life. That’s how you can rock the day and make her fall more deeply in love with you.

So with that in mind, here are five great gifts for your lesbian lover:

Yes!! But make it really special.

If she’s always cooking for you, plan a romantic dinner for her that you cook or get catered in. Give her a night off from cooking, but be sure to add special touches with her favorites food, flowers and wine on the table.

Now write a few lines in a card about why she is so special to you, what you love about her and what she does that delights you. Reach across the table, hold her hand and whisper sweet words to her all night.

Yes, this is simple, but it works to make her feel special!!

Instead of buying her a vacuum cleaner, hire a cleaning service to come in and clean the house for her or do it yourself. If you have to be practical, here’s one way that’ll score points.

Then add in the romance! Buy a new set of sheets for the bed, and have the cleaners put them on for you. Buy roses, pull some petals off and spread them around the bedroom. Light candles around the house, bedroom and bathroom so she’ll see them as she walks in. Put flowers in the bathroom, too.

Have her favorite romantic music playing, even if you hate it. Have her favorite snacks and beverages at the ready, and get ready to snuggle up and tell her how much she means to you.

Plan a picnic with at least three courses (i.e., appetizer, entree and dessert).

Now add some flare to it!

Get the car cleaned out so it sparkles and smells yummy. A great way to make your car smell good is to simply put a few drops of lavender oil on a cloth, wet it a bit and put it in the car under your seat. It’s amazing.

Then put together a playlist of her favorite music and have it playing in the car when you pick her up.

Pick out two or three of your favorite outdoor places where you’ve shared special times together taking a walk, looking out at an amazing view or picnicking in the past. Plan a route for the afternoon that’ll take you to at least two places, but three is even better.

At each stop, share a course from the picnic basket and reminisce about the times you were there before. It’ll really stir up the romance in your relationship, and you’ll create a deep memory in her brain and body with this movable feast, smells and music.

Does she love, love, love movies? Got a great flat-screen TV and sound system? Rent three or four of her favorite movies, make a huge bowl of popcorn, get her favorite movie beverage and movie snacks and prepare everything for an evening at the movies.

Send her an invitation to a romance-filled evening of cinema with her favorite movies available for her to chose from, and include the list in the invitation. You’ll get her feel-good emotions going big time.

This is special because, as I’ve said before, it demonstrates that you’re listening and that you care about what she likes. OK, you may have to ask again to remind yourself, but this is a very romantic way to spend Valentine’s.

Snuggled up at your own private cinema viewing her favorite movies along with great snacks — it’s a little bit of lesbian heaven!

Ah yes, this is often something that happens on Valentine’s Day and should definitely be considered if you’re at that stage. This isn’t for a new relationship but for the one that’s ready to commit to going the distance.

Take any one of the above four ideas and add in a wedding proposal. Tada!! That’s the ultimate Valentine’s Day event.