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Even two people with a lifetime of experiences can hit a road block when first date jitters cause them to draw a blank on topics for conversation. So, it’s a good idea to have a few ideas up your sleeve to keep the chatter going smoothly on that important first official date.
Comparing irritable bowel symptoms with Jeannie next door may be a stimulating topic at home, but you don’t want to find yourself falling into disturbing topics with your potential new beau.
This might be your first date but it’s not the first time you’ve interacted with each other. You’ve talked on the phone, chatted online or had a few words when you met at your friend’s house or at church.
You know enough about each other to bring you together for a date, so draw from those past conversations to get the talking started. Think about how or where you met, and dig into that. If you met through a friend, ask about how he got to know that person and what kept them together as friends.
If you met online, ask about what sites he likes, how long he’s been using the Internet, and what he thinks about it. That can branch off into a conversation about his computer skills, the kind of computer he uses, and what he uses it for.
Every man loves to talk about his work, where he worked, what he did, how long he was at a company. Of course, he may start getting into details way too small for your level of interest at this point, so be sure to have another topic ready to bail you out.
“Tackle the fun topics first, and then
work toward the more sensitive issues.”
He might love golf, football, gardening, remodeling bathrooms, or building furniture. He may like to cook, grill outdoors, read spy thrillers, or collect old movies on DVDs. Try to tap into his passion and figure out why he enjoys certain things so much.
If his interest seems like something you would never think about pursuing, that can make it even more interesting for you to learn about. And it will reveal a lot of good insights into his nature for you, too.
Families can be a sensitive topic or a source of great pride. You will be able to tell right away if the topic is to his liking or not. If he shies away from questions about his former marriage or kids, ask about his own childhood and siblings.
You don’t want to pry or go into too much depth at this point, but you might learn a lot of useful information about your man. Also, whenever he says something about his son, the tax accountant, don’t counter with a story about your son, the doctor. It’s not a competition!
Everybody has been somewhere. Find out what places he has visited on our planet, foreign or domestic.
His greatest accomplishment might be raising children and sending them to college, beating cancer, rising from the ranks to become a manager, or maybe something that will totally surprise and amaze you. It will tell you about the things that really matter to him.
Ask him where he would live if he could live anywhere. Find out the places he would really love to travel to. Find out if he has anything left on his bucket list.
Every man has dreams and aspirations, and few of them achieve everything they hoped for. Share his dreams for a while, quell his regrets, and make him believe once again that anything is possible.
If you like the man and truly want to get to know him better, ask him the things you want to know more about. Tackle the fun topics first, and then work toward the more sensitive issues. You may or may not have a lot in common with him, but you’ll never know until you ask.
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