How Senior Women Can Stop First Date Anxiety

Senior Dating

How Senior Women Can Stop First Date Anxiety

Kara Pound

Written by: Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

If you’re looking for love as a senior lady, chances are it’s your second time around playing the field. But unlike riding a bike, dating is something that needs to be relearned, especially today with online dating, email, texting and video chatting.

Negotiating the dating world in the 21st century can create a lot of first date anxiety for women in their 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond. Let’s look at a fictional example of a woman trying to overcome first date anxiety:

Thelma is a 63-year-old widow living in Minneapolis. Her husband of 30 years passed away three years ago. Thelma finally feels like enough time has gone by and she is ready to start dating. The only problem is it’s been 35 years since she went on a date.

Get involved in the community.

Thelma’s spent the past few years getting involved in her community — joining a book club, selling knit goods at the local farmers market and planting an extensive edibles garden. She’s become good friends with a few of the men from her book club.

One man in particular, Joseph, recently asked her out for dinner. Thelma accepted the invitation, but now her nerves are flying off the handle. She can’t seem to calm down and the date isn’t even for another three days. How should Thelma deal with her first date anxiety? How would you?


“The right balance of preparation

can help you find the self-confidence

needed for an amazing first date.”

He is as nervous as you are.

Thelma told herself that Joseph, a widower whose wife passed a few years ago, is probably as nervous as she is.

She also told herself that compared to everything she’s lived through over the past 63 years, a first date is really not all that scary. This helped Thelma relax a bit, but she was still having anxiety.

Call friends and family for a pep talk.

Thelma called both her daughter and best friend for pep talks. Just knowing that she had their support helped immensely.

Take care of yourself.

Finally, Thelma went to her local boutique to find an outfit that made her feel really special and she got a massage, pedicure and manicure.

The night of her date with Joseph, Thelma felt so prepared that she no longer felt nervous. It was as if she’d done all of her homework and was ready to ace the test.

Thelma and Joseph had a fabulous first date and have already been out five more times.

Thelma is a fictional character, but she represents a lot of older women who struggle with first date anxiety. Of course every woman is different, but the right balance of preparation and a good pep talk or two can help you find the self-confidence needed for an amazing first date.

Advertiser Disclosure is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.