Dont Let Phone Kill Flirt

Women's Dating

Don’t Let Your Phone Kill Your Flirt

Julie Ferman

Written by: Julie Ferman

Julie Ferman

Julie Ferman is a professional matchmaker a seasoned dating coach, media personality, professional speaker, singles events producer and a consultant to the matchmaking and dating industry. Single men and women are invited to register privately, for free with Julie here, to be eligible for personal matchmaking referrals: http://www.JulieFerman.com . Julie's mission is to dignify and streamline the love search process for selective, relationship-minded professionals. Julie provides a full menu of dating coaching, personal matchmaking services and professional referrals to single men and women throughout the U.S., Canada and worldwide. Julie met her husband of 23 years through a proactive love search of her own and she has spent every day since helping singles make that all-important initial connection with the right people and to master the art of dating. With more than 1,100 marriages to her credit, she knows the love business and is eager to share her secrets. Julie Ferman was awarded by iDate and Online Personal Watch the "Best Matchmaker" award in 2010, 2011, 2012 and 2013. We’ve seen Julie on Dr. Phil, Good Morning America, and The Today Show.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Our cell phones, our communication devices, are killing our flirting opportunities.

Single love seekers who flirt well have a distinct advantage, as they get to meet, engage and connect with lots more people, dramatically increasing their chances of finding a keeper.

Today’s peskiest flirting obstacle?

Our cell phones and mobile devices, which constantly compete for eyeball attention.  Everyone, and I mean everyone, is looking down all of the time.

We can’t flirt without eye contact, can we? So let’s stop doing that, shall we?

Flirting expert Susan Rabin defines flirting as “acting amorously without serious intent.” One of the challenges I give to my dating coaching clients is to practice the art of flirting on a daily basis.

Where? Everywhere – at the dry cleaners, at the car wash, at the coffee shop – anywhere and everywhere you are.

Flirting is as simple as catching the eye of the cute guy in line next to you, holding his gaze while smiling and striking up a lighthearted conversation.

“Be accessible by offering those

pearly whites all day long.”

Skilled flirters are never without suitors.

Men love engaging with women who give them warm, fuzzy signals that say “I’m here. I’m engaged in life. I’m accessible, playful, alive, present and available for conversation and connection.”

Staring at your phone while in line at Starbucks or texting while powering down a Subway sandwich kills off any chance of connection.

Put that phone away and practice being with real people who are there in the real world right in front of you.

I encourage single men and women both to practice being accessible by offering those eye-locks and pearly whites all day long, wherever they are during the day.

The intent? To brighten the life of this stranger for no reason other than because it feels good to do so.

Then offer up a question, a comment or a simple compliment, which often leads to a fun, casual conversation about…well…nothing special, really – how nice the day is, how good the coffee smells in the room or a comment about the game that’s airing on the ever-present TV sets all around us.

An airline flight was one of the rare places where we’d have a respite from our addiction to our cell phones, tablets and computers.

But that’s no longer, as our devices are sophisticated enough now that we can hide out from our seat neighbors on airplane mode, buried in our own secluded micro-worlds, easily shutting each other out, our eyes glued to our little screens, connecting with no one.

Let’s chat up our seat mates instead, can we?

Here’s how to get your flirt back:

Leave your cell phone (aka your crutch) in your car or in your purse for at least one outing each day, and flirt fearlessly (also the title of a great book by Rachel DeAlto) when running your daily errands.

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