Finding Love In The New Year

Men's Dating

Finding Love in the New Year

Rachel Dack

Written by: Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack is a licensed clinical professional counselor (LCPC) and relationship coach specializing in individual and couples psychotherapy. Rachel's areas of expertise include relationships, dating, mindfulness, anxiety, depression and self-esteem.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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No matter how you would describe your love, dating and relationship life in 2013 and previously, 2014 is here and there is no better time to be lucky in love.

If you look back on your dating and relationship experiences in 2013 and feel lonely, disappointed, anxious, angry or unsuccessful, it is time for a fresh perspective.

Along with taking on a new, more empowered attitude about love, it is may be time to change your methods of meeting and communicating with women if you find your current ways are not getting you what you want.

Take a moment and reflect.

What worked for you in the love department and what did not? Take an honest look at your behavior to get a better sense of your patterns.

For instance, can you pinpoint a handful of missed opportunities with women because you felt too shy or uncomfortable making the first move, asking her out or approaching her?

Did the women you dated let you know you needed to slow down or you were being too pushy? Think about how you feel about yourself and take in any feedback that you trust from women, friends, family, etc.

I know it can be difficult to evaluate yourself, especially if it brings up memories of breakups or failures or regret, but this exercise may be the very means to achieving love in 2014.

Also remember to give yourself credit for the relationship and dating experiences that went well for you.

Think about what you want.

Are you looking for someone to causally date? Are you looking for The One? Are you ready to commit to the right person long-term?

Visualize yourself attracting and achieving the type of woman you are looking for, the type of relationship you long for and embrace all of the positive feelings you associate with the woman and relationship you are seeking.

Are you feeling more positive, happy, confident, excited and motivated now? Soak in these emotions and commit to taking meaningful action in the present and future.

“First impressions

go a long way.”

Here are seven effective dating habits to help you meet your dating and relationship goals this year.

1. Break out of your rut.

Especially the ones that feel comfortable but do not necessarily get you the girl. If your signature move is to meet women at a bar while intoxicated, commit to trying something different.

2. Work through your anxieties.

Ask for a number or initiate a date, whether in person or online. Although it can be overwhelming, make a commitment to take more risks with women.

3. Leave your dating disasters in the past.

Instead, take what you learned with you into the present and focus on creating positive relationships now.

4. Be clear about what you need.

Have a clear picture of what you are looking for and the type of woman who can offer this to you. It can be helpful to prioritize the qualities you are looking for in a woman.

Also allow yourself to not become involved with a woman with clear red flags or someone who embodies your deal-breakers.

5. Embrace your inner gentleman.

Think of a nice, healthy balance of confidence, politeness and assertiveness. Women find this incredibly attractive.

6. Don’t try to force it.

Instead, let the relationship develop naturally while focusing on getting to know each other. Ask questions, listen attentively, smile and show her you are interested.

7. Show her you are making an effort.

Be presentable and well dressed with appropriate hygiene and grooming. First impressions go a long way, whether you are approaching her out and about or are on a first date.

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