How Our Cave Woman Wisdom Helps Us Choose Good Mates

Women's Dating

How Our Cavewoman Wisdom Helps Us Choose Good Mates

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Your biology is ancient. Your Prius and Jimmy Choos may be new, but they cart around a biological control panel that’s designed for your survival.

And choosing a healthy mate increases the chances you will live a long life and your offspring will survive, too.

Our cavewoman ancestors felt romantic love, but they also practiced rational love as a survival strategy.

In fact, choosing a long-term mate based on romantic love is a relatively new trend as a widespread concept.

For years, women practiced survival of the smartest.

Our female ancestors chose good hunters in times of famine, good investors (remember fire and the wheel?) during fruitful times, great protectors during warring times and great artists and caregivers when they excelled at hunting.

If Grandma was youngish and sisters aplenty, women had more children. When a good brother offered protection to her offspring, our gatherers may have risked venturing farther afield.

When the environment became harsh, producing few calories or poising treacherous weather, women quietly crossed their legs until conditions improved.

In today’s environment where women are rising in economic power (more women are educated and are in the American workforce), women are putting sex out in high supply.

No need to get one hunter to sign on the dotted line and support them and their offspring in a contract called marriage.

“When you hesitate to have sex, that’s

your cavewoman talking to you.”

But the new problem is this:

Parenting is best played as a team sport and many women, ignoring marriage, are still wired to bond. Sadly, men don’t bond through sex.

And when sex is in high supply, men are less likely to commit. Why buy the cow when you can text in a herd any night of the week?

Choosing a mate will directly impact your health, your wealth and the success of your children. That’s why you inherited cavewoman mating caution.

When you feel an age-old ache in your stomach after you’ve had sex with a guy who still hasn’t called you back, that’s your cavewoman talking to you.

When you hesitate to have sex with a man who is saying all the right things, yet your gut feeling tells you to slow down, that’s your cavewoman talking to you.

When you hook up with a date early on because you are a little drunk and feeling adventurous, that’s you silencing your cavewoman.

You’re playing a dangerous game with your heart and health.

Paying attention to your long-term goals in a relationship and really understanding your needs will help you make better choices.

Your cavewoman wisdom is alive and well within you. You must bring her on dates with you and let her help you move away from connections that are harmful.

Ladies, have you ever ignored your cavewoman instincts? I’d love to hear your stories.

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