Shouldnt Have Dating Type

Women's Dating

5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Have a “Dating Type”

Amie Leadingham

Written by: Amie Leadingham

Amie Leadingham

Amie is a certified master life and relationship coach, receiving her training at the Relationship Coaching Institute. Since then, Amie’s relationship coaching and mentoring support has empowered countless singles to discover their true selves for the first time. Her non-judgmental approach allows people to a feel safe and open to communicate freely. By employing a newly ingrained belief system, along with using methods and tools that are proven time and time again, her clients discover the true value of who they are. It’s then for the first time in their lives, they begin to move forward in a positive way by attracting the meaningful relationship they never thought possible.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Let me be the first to admit that I had a “dating type” for most of my adult life. The fact is most of you reading this will say you have some kind of type (i.e., tall, dark and handsome). Looking for a partner who has qualities you want is not terrible, but relying on your type to guide you in your dating life is problematic.

If you are truly looking for a quality long-term relationship, here are 5 reasons why you may want to consider not having a dating type.

1. Your Type Might Not Be What You Require in a Relationship

Have you ever really asked yourself:

“What do I REQUIRE to make me happy in a relationship?” Not what makes me happy, but what do I REQUIRE to be happy?”

Let’s say your type is tall, has an edge and is a college graduate, but you met someone who had everything else you wanted. Do you think you could be happy in the relationship?

If you answered yes, then you would be going against your type. You don’t actually require those things.

Understanding your real requirements is so important to understanding what you want in life and a partner. Dating becomes more clear, choices become better and you’ll become happier overall. In the end, you’ll completely forget you even had a type!

2. Having a Type Limits Your Dating Pool 

Think about it: When you walk into a room and start looking for your type, every person who doesn’t fit your type is automatically removed from the pool.

If you were to get rid of your dating type and allow possible partners to be considered based on who they are, and get to know them to see if they fit your requirements, the game would change. Casting a wide net can be a very important component to finding a quality partner, especially as you get older.

Remember just because you don’t have a type anymore doesn’t mean you won’t get someone who has most or all of your requirements anyway. It just means you don’t make your initial dating decisions based on it, but rather you open up your mind, body and soul to find that quality partner you deserve, not want!

3. You Might Be Judged Just as Harshly as You Judge

If you have a dating type that focuses on superficial qualities or lacks real individual depth, do you know what the people you are going to attract are most likely looking for, too? Yep, the same thing!

Like attracts like” is a universal dating principal that works in your life right now, whether you are aware of it or not. You have attracted the very people, situations, jobs, etc. that are presently in your life. The foundation of the principle states that whatever you focus on the most will be attracted to you right back.

If you look around and see a lot of selfish or damaged people, then you have to look no deeper than yourself to find out why. The same goes for being surrounded by happy, positive people. If you have a type, take a look at it and make sure you want to be judged the same way.

4. Your Type May Actually Be Influenced by Outside Forces

Many things in our lives influence us: family, friends, movies, TV, the media, to name a few. Sometimes your type is actually influenced by one or more of these groups.

Have you ever brought someone you were dating around your family and taken notice to what your family said about them? Maybe they even voiced the things they liked or disliked about the person? This same scenario goes for your friends, too. (We’re looking at you, Cher.) It’s hard for those things not to creep into our minds.

Not only do most of us want certain qualities in a potential partner, but it’d be great if the person had qualities our family and friends wanted, too. Pressure from friends or family can be very powerful, and unless you do the work to figure out if that is the case, your type may actually also be their type.

5. Dating Isn’t as Fun with a Type 

Think about it: If you are able to sit across from every potential partner and not dismiss them right away because they don’t fit your type, how freeing would that be?

You will end up talking to more people, getting to know more people and learning more about people and yourself. Limiting yourself to a dating type closes you off to so many people, places and things that could bring you great joy.

Although a type may not make or break your dating life, shedding yourself from its constraints may be your first step in looking at the dating world in a new, exciting way that could change your life forever.

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