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Sometimes I think about living in the time of Jane Austen. If you’ve ever read a book or watched a movie based on the books of Jane Austen, you’ve daydreamed over the idea of your own Mr. Darcy.
When I read “Pride and Prejudice,” something else sticks out to me:
There were very few men to pick from. A lot of the time the guy was picked for you. Sometimes he was a cousin. You got married for status reasons rather than love.
Then let’s say you were lucky enough to find a decent one — he takes off for months or is hundreds of miles away and you wait for a single letter to cherish for the months in between.
Meanwhile, you can pass the long and lonely moments with walking around the garden in a huge, hot, tightly-corseted dress. AWFUL!
Amazingly, we still fantasize in a modern way about meeting our soul mate while going about our lives. The notion of being divinely guided to our perfect other half is webbed through our hearts and minds.
What are the odds you show up some place, lock eyes with a person who is attractive and new, feel the butterflies (and in this moment, you don’t have smeared mascara, puffy eyes and matted hair but are looking your feminine ideal), you or they garner the courage to strike up a conversation, and then garner even more courage to exchange a number, and that random person ends up being made up of all the quality and characteristics you’ve been looking for?
I mean, talk about the cosmos having to align. The movies make it look easy, but as a single person, we know it’s not. It’s not!
That’s why we are single — it doesn’t happen often, if it happens at all.
Why do we fantasize about this? There are so many reasons dating today is more superior and online dating has enriched our possibilities of finding love exponentially. We should be thrilled!
“Forget the fairy tale beginning
and find your fairy tale ending.”
Things that are superior about online dating over hoping to meet someone randomly offline are overwhelming:
What if by happenstance you did have all of the right opportunities to meet someone and you were brave enough to talk to them? Only to find out she’s got a boyfriend or isn’t interested in dating. How frustrating.
Online dating is an ocean of available daters. There’s no wondering. It’s just singles looking to mingle.
In online dating, there are no good days or bad days to how you look. It’s all about the picture you choose and the current state of your hair or skin. Clothing choice doesn’t matter.
Not only that, when you’re online, the person you present is who you feel reflects you beyond just the outside — the parts you can’t control.
You get to express your qualities and everything you want to express or not express about yourself. You don’t have to feel self-conscious about what someone is noticing about you that you’re not aware of.
When you’re trying to hit on someone in the offline world, time is of the essence. You can blink and miss your shot. He or she turns away.
You looked down instead of smiling. Their friend shows up. You wonder if you’ll ever see him or her again.
Online dating allows you time to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. Online dating also helps to make sure you don’t miss your chance.
What if they are a card-carrying member of a religion completely antithetical to your beliefs? You’re going to have a lot more information to figure that out in online dating.
And these options are all a few finger taps away.
You are unique and the person you need to be matched to is equally an individual.
Why then are we not thrilled at the advantage of getting to look through and filter who may or may not work for our individualized relationship needs? It’s awesome!
It’s time to stop waiting around in the garden of your brain for a Mr. Darcy. He’s out there. He’s just on the computer.
It’s 2022. Forget the fairy tale beginning and find your fairy tale ending.