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As someone who loves psychology and enjoys observing the intricacies of human behavior, it amazes me how much the art of dating has changed.
I was raised in the ’70s and ’80s, a time when old-fashioned manners still applied.
This was an era when going on a date meant giving an actual face-to-face invitation to the object of your affections, holding the door open as she left your car or approached a doorway, grasping her hand while crossing the street, promptly picking her up and thanking her the next day with a courteous phone call.
It was a time when being courteous, respectful and timely was looked upon as the norm. It was also a period when women weren’t afraid to let men take the lead and honor them with their presence.
History and facts have proven this.
As you can probably tell, I’m a rather old-fashioned kind of guy. I like the process of courtship and know there are still women who really appreciate a man with traditional values.
And even though lots of women these days have grown much more independent, many still desire a man willing to treat them like a queen – despite their outer shells.
It’s in their blood. It’s meant to be. It’s what most women are still attracted to. Sending her flowers and cards just because is the ticket.
Women deeply desire a man who’s a leader, an honorable person and one they can trust with their deepest secrets and desires. They’re looking for one man who’d make a great husband, father, lover and personal partner in crime.
No matter how much money they have, how high they are on the corporate or social ladder or how tough they act on their exteriors, women will always fall for the guy who treats them with respect and makes them feel special.
I’m not saying you have to be one of those stuck in the friend zone or a passive pushover. There must be a balance. Be more like Rambo or Superman — tough when you need to be yet kind and caring to those you love.
In this modern era of smartphones, Internet dating sites and super-busy lifestyles, what are the best ways of showing a woman you’re a worthy specimen?
Part of exhibiting quality is to be of quality. If you want someone who’s exceptional and places a high emphasis on values, you must look, act and live the part.
Women have intense radar when it comes to spotting a man with traditional values. They listen to the way you talk (no cussing), carry yourself (well-groomed and dressed) and treat them from the get-go (with respect).
This means always doing what you say and saying what you’re going to do. There really isn’t a gray area here, which is what will get you into trouble.
All this said, it really isn’t rocket science.
“Many guys have become lazy
with the details that matter.”
Let’s say you spot a lady who catches your eye and you’d like to date her. First, always approach her. Never wait on her. Women love a man who takes charge. It shows confidence.
And if you’re in a bar or other social gathering place, put your beer down first, please!
Politely show off your manners by offering your hand to begin a cordial conversation. Make it about her at first – always.
If she wants to know about you, that’s great, but never unbutton your shirt to impress her with your washboard abs. This is a real turn-off because women hate cockiness.
So many men these days try and win over a woman with their looks and money. This is a huge mistake.
If the conversation goes well, ask for her number. If she agrees, follow through the next day.
Large numbers of men seem to enjoy playing games these days and it isn’t attractive at all. It shows a lazy attitude when a man waits weeks to dial a number.
If you’ve landed a date, pick her up right on time with flowers! If you’re meeting, make sure you’re early, and not with a drink or order of hot wings already in hand. Being late always shows disrespect.
Hold her chair out for her, be kind to the waiter and never rush the ordering process. Remember, having dinner with a woman is never about eating. It’s about getting to know her.
If you answer a call, unless it’s concerning a relative’s death, you’re blowing it big time. I see this constantly at dinner tables everywhere, and nothing will turn her off more than feeling second to your buddy giving you the latest scores.
Ask her about her goals, family, work and dreams. Again, too many guys try and make things about them and they’ve lost sight of what women really want.
Also, don’t be cheap on a first date or ever. Women want to fell appreciated and cherished for giving you their time and saying no to dessert will leave a bad impression.
Open your car door for her and drive her home without Guns and Roses blaring through the speakers. Walk her to the door, and if she’s open, kiss her on the cheek or offer her a respectable one on the mouth.
Just don’t go diving in trying to find your way into her bedroom. This is a big problem these days. It isn’t respectable toward women and rarely does it lay the foundation for a long-term commitment.
If all goes well, call her the next day and express your gratitude (texting is OK, but a call is much more personal). This is one of the greatest things you can do to keep things going.
And if you’re lucky enough to have future dates, don’t get lazy and let things slide as far as being a gentleman. Keep up your honorable traits and you’ll reap the rewards.
That’s it – a typical, respectable and traditional first date. For some, it sounds easy and normal, but so many men aren’t following this plan.
They move too fast, make sex their number one priority and date multiple partners at the same time. Many guys have become lazy with the little details that matter, which is a recipe for disaster.
You’ll make mistakes along the way (we all do), but these tips are proven ways of acquiring the woman of your dreams.