How To Get A Girl To Talk To You First

Men's Dating

How to Get a Girl to Talk to You First

Kara Pound

Written by: Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Whether you’re at yoga, a bar, work or a coffee shop, striking up a conversation with a girl can be nerve-racking. Understandably, you’re scared of rejection and aren’t even really sure what to say to her. So why not try and get her to talk to you first?

Here are a few tips for getting Miss Right to make the initial move.

1. Plant a seed.

Over the past month, you’ve seen this new girl at your local coffee shop. You’re pretty sure she just moved to town and you’re incredibly attracted to her. You’ve exchanged smiles but you’re hoping to exchange words.

Give her little compliments like, “I like your scarf” or “Those are great earrings.” Drop these subtle little seeds in her lap and wait for the love fern to grow.

2. Be confident but not clueless.

Sure, guys are notorious for trying to play it cool. But if you’re into a girl, acting like she doesn’t exist is certainly not going to cause her to come and talk to you. Be confident and secure in yourself, but don’t be clueless. Look her in the eyes, smile, and give a little nod to say hello.


“For guys, getting a girl to talk to them first is all about

confidence and just being an all-around nice dude.”

3. Be nice.

Hopefully you won’t have to fake it, but most women notice when a guy is thoughtful and kind. Tip your barista, open the door for an elderly man or pregnant woman, or chat up the person behind you in line. Trust me, the girl you’re into will notice.

4. Practice good hygiene.

Unless you’re at a Phish show, chances are, a lady’s not going to want to talk to you if you haven’t showered in three days. Keep yourself clean (maybe go as far as wearing a little cologne) and she won’t be able to resist you.

5. Be prepared.

If you’re a naturally nervous person and a bit fearful of her talking to you first, then be prepared with a few tidbits of casual conversation to keep things going.

Making the first move is daunting — whether you’re a guy or a girl. For guys, getting a girl to talk to them first is all about confidence, preparation and just being an all-around nice dude. Be subtle and she will take notice. The rest is up to you.

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