is a unique digital universe. It is filled with truths and odd behavior that would never be considered acceptable in our analog reality. Even potential employers are using our Facebook profiles as a sort of character reference for the people they hire. How we operate as our somewhat covert virtual alter egos can tell others a lot about us. And we, too, can learn quite a bit about that intriguing lady we’ve been dating for a few weeks now.
1. Check out her friends.
Is she friends with a thousand shirtless guys from 30 states and a dozen different countries? That’s not so bad by itself. She might be a “collector.” But does she interact with a lot of guys she doesn’t know regularly? What about the local guys? Is she tagged in their photos at frequent parties? Did she “friend” all of your close friends? If so, she might be doing reconnaissance on you.
2. Check out her posts.
Does she post a lot of sexy photos, and do a couple dozen guys “like” them? Are there a lot of comments, and does she answer them? Is she sweet in her remarks to her girlfriends and others, or does she assume a different personality? If you comment on her posts, then you should be notified whenever someone else does the same, or you can just look at all of the comments when you choose to.
“It’s very difficult for anyone to remain squeaky clean
for very long in this online, 24/7, full-access digital world.”
3. Check out her status.
See if she says she’s “single,” “in a relationship, “it’s complicated” or whatever. Maybe she still has an attachment to an ex, or maybe she thinks a couple of dates mean she’s already in a relationship with you. Or, maybe after a dozen dates in a month, she’s still “single.” Everybody doesn’t live and die on Facebook, so her relationship status may not always be up to date. But if she has frequent posts, you know she’s been active.
4. Check out her photos.
Does she pull her phone cam out often when you’re on a date? See how she portrays the events of the evening if she puts them on Facebook.
- Is she showing you off?
- Does she refer to you with terms of endearment that go too far?
- Is she hiding you from her Facebook community?
- Are you an unidentified bystander in her night-on-the-town exploits?
If she “tags” you in a photo, it might go out to all of your Facebook friends, so make sure you are on board with her portrayal of your relationship.
It’s very difficult for anyone to remain squeaky clean for very long in this online, 24/7, full-access digital world. You probably have profiles on dating sites and business sites that disclose a hundred things about you that even your close friends might otherwise never know. If you see everything as a red flag, you will never be able to date anyone. But Facebook does give you an opportunity to see how a potential girlfriend portrays herself (and you) to the world, so look for troubling patterns and don’t sweat the isolated missteps.
