She Broke Up with Me Because I’m Clingy. What Do I Do Now?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I’m 18. I lost my first girlfriend. She broke up with me because I was a little clingy. We’d only been together for two months. Even though it was a short time, I fell in love with her.

She doesn’t want me calling or texting her. She told me she has a new boyfriend. I almost cried. I want her back, but at the same time, I don’t want to mess up someone else’s relationship.

What do I do?

-Marcus (Alabama)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Marcus,

I’ll tell you this: Every person’s first love stays in their heart. You are going through a rite of passage that nearly all human beings experience.

Your first breakup hurts like heck, but besides being painful, this is a great opportunity to ask yourself what you learned.

I hope you learned love can feel absolutely beautiful, you are lovable and you can be a caring person.

You probably also learned you cannot control another person and maybe too many expressions of love early on can scare someone, especially someone who is a bit afraid of closeness.

Most of all, do not lose faith in love. Humans are wired to bond and secure attachments are good for our health.

You are right not to intrude on other people’s relationships. Those ethics tell me you have compassion – the foundation of healthy love.

I beg you to trust this process. When you are hurting the most, you are growing the most.

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