She Refuses to Text/Call First. Do I Always Have to Start the Conversation?

She Refuses To Textcall First Do I Always Have To Start The Conversation
Updated:
Dr. Wendy Walsh
Lillian Castro

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Editor: Lillian Castro

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Reader Question:

We’ve been talking and stuff for a while, not official, but we’ve already had that initial first date and first few chats (it’s been a month). She refuses to text/call me first. I don’t want her to think I’m clingy, nor do I want her to think she has complete control and she can ignore me for days and I’ll always come running.

She has hinted she won’t text/call the guy first before, but I’ve never dated someone who actually DIDN’T do it at least once.

Do I always need to start the conversation with someone I’m “talking” to?

-Adam (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Adam,

At this point, you do.

Here’s a little biology lesson: Sperm chases egg. Not the reverse.

In the early stages of dating, men will do more chasing if the woman is worth it. If you are being received with a happy voice on the other end of the phone, that is enough of an indication she is interested.

Don’t worry. Take things slowly. Change up your pattern. Take a few days off between calls. Make her wonder if you are losing interest. Be cool. Contain yourself. The dance only happens once in each relationship.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

About the Author

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Dr. Wendy Walsh

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Women's Dating Expert

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

See Dr. Wendy's full bio »

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