We’ve Been Growing Apart. What Do I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
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Reader Question:

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. It was great at first. She cooked, she was there all the time, and she showed affection. Then we had a son, who is now five months old.

We have been growing apart and stopped having sex. I do a lot for her and my son, but she is now giving me attitude all the time. She said I bother her but wants to be with me. I love her and want to be a happy family.

What do I do?

-Mike (Massachusetts)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Mike:

It’s fascinating that parenthood and marriage have become two separate things. It is like the middle class is beginning to resemble the lower class that way.

But here you are playing house with someone who you haven’t made a commitment to stick it out with – through richer or poorer or through sickness and health.

And you’re worried about your sex life??? Having a baby is one of the biggest stressors for even the most solid of marriages, and I can’t imagine how difficult it must be on a relationship with such low definition.

My suggestion would be to think of your child first. That little guy needs both of you to have a healthy chance in life. Find a family therapist to help you with your relationship problems and make a commitment to the family you have created.

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