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10 Best Christian Dating Books for 2024
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Christians in need of advice are likely to turn to the most popular advice column in history — the Bible, of course. But there are some specific problems that the Bible just can’t answer in a straightforward way. For example: “What should I do if all my friends have gotten married, but I haven’t?” Or, “How can I tell my partner that I can’t afford to buy tickets to the Eras Tour?” Or even, “How can I recover from a divorce I never saw coming?”
Some of the best Christian dating books are written from diverse perspectives. A psychologist/pastor offers up his views about the importance of faith-based boundaries, while a young progressively-minded Christian pastor preaches to Gen-Z about sex and dating. Everyone from singles to engaged couples to long-term spouses can benefit from these books that combine relationship advice with Christian ideologies.
The Bible is the ideal place for Christians to start their journeys to marriage. These books simply make the path to the altar smoother, clearer, and even more rewarding.
The Dating Manifesto | The Right One | Not Yet Married | Now and Not Yet | Sacred Singleness | Relationship Goals | Boundaries in Dating | The 5 Love Languages | Single, Dating, Engaged, Married | The Meaning of Marriage
The Dating Manifesto
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“The Dating Manifesto: A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose” by Lisa Anderson explains why dating should be a direct path to a happy and healthy marriage. It’s Lisa’s devotion to her faith that led to Focus on the Family’s Boundless ministry, which is geared toward providing young people with access to resources about faith, relationships, and living a God-honoring life.
Young people often feel overwhelmed by expectations, especially in the modern world of dating. How do you know when to make a move, and more importantly, what do you even do on a first date? Lisa Anderson uses a Christian lens to answer these questions and more.
“God has a plan for our future marriages, and it’s not to fulfill all our dreams or give us a storybook ending,” she told Christian Post. In interviews and in her book, Lisa doesn’t sugarcoat the hard truth for her readers.
What it does best: Gives young Christians a guide to dating and marriage
It’s tempting to think that there’s one perfect person out there, a soulmate waiting to find you in a lush field of daffodils. So romantic! But as Jimmy Evans and Frank Martin write in their book “The Right One: How to Successfully Date and Marry the Right Person,” finding “the one” isn’t always followed by a storybook ending.
It takes effort, determination, and soul-searching to find “the right one,” as Pastor Jimmy puts it. As the founder and president of XO Marriage, Jimmy has been guiding couples through relationship woes since 1993. His experience as a faith-based marriage advisor and pastor shines through on the pages of “The Right One,” as does Frank’s experience as a Family Commentary writer for the ministry Focus on the Family.
“(This book) is for people who love being in love, but are committed to going into marriage with their eyes wide open,” according to XO Marriage. You can still hope for daffodils, but make sure you have realistic expectations that are grounded in faith.
What it does best: Emphasizes realistic expectations while providing hope through experienced teachings
In his book “Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating,” Marshall Segal encourages young people to stay productive during the dating stage of a relationship. One too many heartbreaks can leave you feeling hopeless, but Marshall urges his readers to stay positive and to lean on Jesus when love feels out of reach.
Many Christian singles grow up dreaming of finding “the one” and starting a family as quickly as possible. But love — and God’s plan, as some people would say — is rarely so linear. This is why Marshall preaches trust: in God, and in your own ability to grow as a Christian.
As President and CEO of Desiring God ministries, Marshall is no stranger to coaching young Christians in the ways of love and dating through scripture. “God has far more planned for you than your future marriage,” Desiring God ministries states on its website.
What it does best: Emphasizes the importance of finding purpose in one’s single status
Now and Not Yet
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It’s not uncommon for Christian singles to believe that they have to be married before they can truly start to live their lives. In “Now and Not Yet,” Ruth Chou Simons makes it clear that this isn’t the case. What makes “Now and Not Yet” stand out from the crowd is its claim that scripture and guided liturgies can lift you out of “hard seasons.”
“Even if our life seasons and stories aren’t the same, we all know what it is to long for what is not yet ours,” Ruth writes. She reassures readers that they aren’t alone in their struggles to accept their current circumstances. This book is perfect for young Christians who need a little encouragement as well as guidance.
“God is at work even when you don’t see the progress you’re looking for,” according to Ruth’s website, and this encapsulates Ruth’s message in “Now and Not Yet.” An artist, public speaker, and published author with a background in public ministry, Ruth guides Christians through the “hard seasons” of their lives with emotional depth and creativity.
What it does best: Helps readers to embrace the uncertainty of love
“Marriage is a basic building block of decent societies,” Christianity Today preaches. And yet, Leslie Ludy’s book “Sacred Singleness: The Set-Apart Girl’s Guide to Purpose and Fulfillment,” suggests an opposing theory. What if one’s single status was considered to be nothing less than sacred? Leslie Ludy’s ministry, Set-Apart, is for women, by women — and so is her book.
“Sacred Singleness” doesn’t look down on single women. Instead, it encourages them to find power in their single status and in their faith. It teaches women how to overcome jealousy, loneliness, and fear, and to find comfort in the mystery of God’s plan.
“This message will inspire you to discover a passionate romance with the ultimate Bridegroom — a romance that will satisfy the deepest desires of your soul,” according to Set Apart’s summary of Ludy’s book. The only way you’ll be truly ready for love is when you find peace with your single status.
What it does best: Encourages young women to embrace their single status while honoring God
If only there were a cheat-sheet to love. Well, Michael Todd — AKA Pastor Mike — decided to write one. “Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex” is a study guide for young, inexperienced daters with their hopes set on marriage. It’s written in a young person’s language and with a modern perspective.
“Michael believes that relationships are the epicenter of human thriving,” according to Michael’s website. “All too often, though, we lack the tools or vision to build our relationships on the wisdom and power of God.” Consider “Relationship Goals” to be a valuable tool in your quest for a faith-based relationship.
Michael is a lead pastor at Transformation Church in Oklahoma. His book was inspired by his popular sermon series “Relationship Goals,” which has been viewed over 10 million times.
What it does best: This step-by-step guide to faith-based dating, marriage, and sex is written in a fun, accessible language for young people
Boundaries: They’re easy to say, but not to enforce. Friends, family, and significant others need to know your religious boundaries so they can respect them. Drs. John Townsend and Henry Cloud have been combining mental health research with religious outreach for years, and they provide clear and honest advice about setting boundaries in their book “Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships.”
Faith-based dating may sound restrictive depending on who you ask, but as Drs. Townsend and Cloud emphasize, it doesn’t need to be. As long as you stick to your boundaries and keep God at the forefront, you can enjoy your dating life. The doctors give applicable advice to readers about how you can set, stick, and reaffirm boundaries in your romantic life and beyond.
In a note to readers, the authors wrote, “Get involved in life, but remember God’s boundaries of what is good.” It’s all about balancing one’s impulse for love and intimacy with one’s devotion to God.
What it does best: Teaches Christians how to set boundaries in their relationships
The 5 Love Languages
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“Love language” is one of those phrases that seemed to pop up alongside “Lol” and “Omg”, but in actuality, we have Gary Chapman to thank for the term. Or we at least have him to thank for popularizing it. His 1992 book, “The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” broke down the various ways we express love into five categories: acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch.
It’s been said that Gary first developed the idea of a love language when he acted as a marriage advisor to couples in his church. He’s since become a senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church. “Whatever season you find yourself in, I want to give you the confidence you need to connect profoundly with the ones you care for,” Pastor Gary says on his website.
The book was a New York Times bestseller and continues to rank highly on the bestseller list.
What it does best: Explains the different Love Languages and their impacts
Why are so many Americans waiting to get married? It’s a question Ben Stuart has tried to find an answer to. “Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: A Four-Week Study on Relationships” functions as a sociological and religious study. Ben, a pastor at Passion City Church, dives into each stage of romance and connects it to the religious journey all Christians go through.
His book helps you learn how to navigate the dating world with faith-based goals in mind. Ben breaks each stage down into four faith-based goals: A single person should focus on devotion, and when you start dating, you should focus on evaluating your faith and boundaries. When engaged, focus on the impacts of unification on your relationship with God and your partner. And when married, establish your next faith-based mission.
“Our desires for intimacy are powerful. This power can be constructive or destructive,” Ben warns on his website. Thankfully, his book teaches young Christians how to use that power in a positive way.
What it does best: Draws parallels between one’s dating and religious journeys
The Meaning of Marriage
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Dedicating yourself to God is one thing; promising lifelong commitment to a complex human being is another. Authors of “The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God”, Timothy and Kathy Keller — who were married for over four decades before Keller’s death in 2023 — attempt to demystify commitment and show how it can make your worldview expand, not shrink. It helps that the book is not only written for Christians, but for non-religious people as well.
One of the book’s main goals is to redefine divorce. It shouldn’t be seen as a get-out-of-jail-free card, but as a serious and life-altering last resort, the Kellers state. The book builds on Timothy’s popular sermon series and includes useful insights into marriage from his wife, Kathy.
In its review, the conservative newspaper The Washington Times said the book was “Incredibly rich with wisdom and insight that will leave the reader, whether single or married, feeling uplifted.”
What it does best: Addresses modern-day problems, like skyrocketing divorce rates, through the lens of Christianity
The Journey From Single To Married Is Even More Rewarding When Faith Is At The Forefront
The dating world can be rife with disappointments, so putting your trust in God is a great way to stay motivated. As many of the authors on the list preach, the end of a relationship doesn’t have to be tragic. It could all be part of God’s plan for you, perhaps even a step toward spiritual fulfillment. The books on this list are creative and clearly-articulated guides for every Christian, no matter where they are in their faith.
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