Women's Dating

Buddy Up with Your Lover

Leon Scott Baxter

Written by: Leon Scott Baxter

Leon Scott Baxter

Leon Scott Baxter, "America's Relationship Guru," is the founder of CouplesCommittedToLove.com and the author of three books on love, romance and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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You want to know the secret to moving from “just dating” your man to “long-term relationship” status? Well, you are not alone.

Most of us (men and women) are looking to one day find the love of our lives. We want to settle down and feel security, contentment and comfort from a partner.

The thing is, we have to first forge through the beginning stages of our relationship in order to make it to “until death do us part.”

What’s the best indicator of long-term relationship success? A deep, profound and true friendship with your guy.

I know it sounds hokey, but it’s true.

Here’s the skinny on why this works.

It’s simple. Friendships thrive in spite of obstacles. Romantic relationships often falter when confronted with obstacles.

If you are only connected to your man romantically, when you butt heads, there’s a much higher likelihood of a breakup, as opposed to when friends disagree.

More often than not, friends get mad but the friendship bond is strong enough to get through the disagreement.

Also, friends are friends. You can go 10 years without seeing a high school pal, and when you meet again, the friendship is still there, as if bottled in a mason jar with an airtight lid.


“Your efforts to make your fella a friend today

will help to keep him as your lover tomorrow.”

Romantic relationships have an ebb and flow to them.

Romance tends to be dynamic, always shifting.

You may feel a strong love for your guy for a few weeks, but then work gets in the way and the romance dwindles for a bit.

When you have friendship to fall back on during the ebbs of romance, you still hold on to a strong and powerful connection with your partner, which helps you ride the wave until romance returns.

Build that friendship before you need to fall back on it.

Maybe this week plan to watch a comedy through Netflix, or head out to a local pub and challenge him to a game of darts.

Being a friend with your man doesn’t mean you need to cut out the romantic stuff with him all together.

Continue to make love, hold hands, make him his favorite meal and go out to a concert, but you should also be friends. Go to an amusement park, play pool or hit the gym together.

Your efforts to make your fella a friend today will help to keep him as your lover tomorrow.

Are you friends with your lover?

Photo source: deviantart.net.

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