Does Great Sexual Chemistry Mean You Will Stay Together

Women's Dating

Does Great Sexual Chemistry Mean You Will Stay Together?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

See full bio »

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Bad news folks. Hot sex is one of the worst false advertisements out there. It gives new lovers the delusion that they have found the perfect relationship. When sex drives are in sync and dopamine is flooding through neurotransmitters, idealistic thoughts cloud judgments.

Lovers can’t quite help but believe that this relationship will last forever. Within weeks women hear wedding bells and imagine a romantic honeymoon. That’s because huge releases of the female bonding hormone, oxytocin, are produced during female orgasm.

Sexual intimacy doesn’t replace emotional intimacy.

But sexual intimacy is a poor substitute for the real glue of a relationship — emotional intimacy. And there is a dark side to hot sexual chemistry. Passionate, mind-blowing sex can also mean a passionately messy breakup.

Unfortunately, this outcome is much more likely than Mr. Hot N’ Heavy putting a ring on it. Research and statistics prove that “sexual chemistry” does not predict a successful relationship, but rather a short-lived one, usually followed by a relationship hangover filled with sobs and cartons of Ben & Jerry’s.


“Delaying sex will allow you to build

a relationship based on compatibility.”

Confusing sex with love.

Sexual involvement — now often initiated by women — in the early stages of a relationship are quite common. Most single men and women view it as a way to confirm sexual compatibility before they commit to a partner. And when the sex is great, lovers erroneously believe it will keep their relationship hot and spicy down the road and even in marriage.

The first mistake with this theory is that women confuse sex with feelings of love, while love is created by a lot more than hot sex. If you think that just because the sex is hot, your relationship will be a full of happiness and bliss, think again.

Researchers from Brigham Young University, who are experts on sexual timing in relationships, have found that the longer a couple waits to get in between the sheets together, the better.

They have better sexual chemistry, relationship quality, relationship communication, relationship satisfaction, and perceived relationship stability in their marriages. These results appeared even after controlling for variables such as number of sexual partners, religiosity and education level.

Good sex shouldn’t be hard for couples to figure out.

But the tools to build an intimate bond and a lasting commitment will take a bit more work. Early sex complicates the message you are trying to send to a potential mate, unless you’re just looking for a summer fling.

Delaying sex will allow you to build a relationship based on compatibility, similarity in values and good communication. Your best bet is to hold off sexually until you are sure that your partner is committed (monogamously, of course) to your relationship.

And the longer you wait to have sex — try and give it at least one month — the better your chances of relationship survival.

Advertiser Disclosure is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.