Does Porn Ruin Relationships?

Back in 2009, Simon Louis Lajeunesse, a professor at the School of Social Work at the University of Montreal, launched a study to examine the effects of pornography on men.

In order to do sound science, he needed to compare two groups: Young men who have consumed pornography and a control group of young men who have not consumed pornography. There was only one problem. He could not find even one man who had not used porn.

After amending his research strategies, he instead studied where, how much and the kinds of porn men consume. Lajeunesse found that 90 percent of pornography is gobbled up on the Internet, while 10 percent still comes from video stores.

On average, single men watch pornography three times a week for 40 minutes. Those who are in committed relationships watch it on average 1.7 times a week for 20 minutes. A full 30 percent of all content on the Internet is pornography.

Women watch porn too, but more often with partners than alone because they use it as a tool to enhance their relationship. Men are more likely to use porn alone, and when they use it with a partner, it is often because porn is the only route to an erection.

“The more partners, the more likely he is to

perceive diminished attractiveness.”

And this tidal wave of cheap, available and increasingly violent pornography can cause some major relationship problems. It can hurt emotionally when our men prefer a digital playmate over a wife, and it can hurt financially when porn becomes addictive.

But the biggest problem is that frequent porn use can cause sexual dysfunction in men. It’s called delayed ejaculation and it’s a symptom of too much porn. Or, he may have DE’s cousin, erectile dysfunction.

Think of it this way. Men are highly visually stimulated and turned on by new stimuli. A man who spends a good chunk of his sex life masturbating and fantasizing to porn  — endless pictures of young, hot and always different partners — is, over time, likely to find his long-term girlfriend or wife less interesting than that bottomless supply of new and exciting women in his head. Some men have even reported that they have begun faking orgasms with real life women.

And that’s exactly why he wants you to text him a naked picture of yourself.

My advice: Don’t bite. You will be discarded as fast as all the women in his catalogue of digital girlfriends.

When you send sexy messages or naked photos, he is less likely to be titillated in anticipation of you and more likely to become aroused enough to finish the job himself. In his head, he’s had sex with you. The chase is over.

Famed evolutionary psychologist Dr. David Buss once studied on men with many sexual partners. The more partners a man has had, the more likely he is to perceive diminished attractiveness in each new partner. Your naked photo is a kind of sex partner for a man who uses porn a lot.