He Never Wanted Commitment. Can a Person Pretend to Like You?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I dated a guy for seven years and we did everything together. He cooked for me, bought me gifts, took me to his country, but we’ve never actually said we were dating.

When I asked him about it, he said he had no feelings for me, nor did he ever have any intentions of a commitment with me. That was six months ago and I have not heard anything.

Is it possible for a person to pretend they even liked you?

-Cassie (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Cassie, you are not the first woman I have met who is in a long-term undefined relationship. It always amazes me that women will expose their heart, their eggs and their blood steam to a man who they can’t even talk about monogamy with.

But I’m glad to see you took the first step. You asked for definition. And he gave you an answer. He will not commit to you. Waiting around for him is a sure way to waste more of your precious time.

And, to answer your direct question, he didn’t pretend he likes you. He DOES like you. He especially likes that you don’t ask for more and leave him free to pursue whatever he wants.

Remember, men can have sex with the same woman for a long time and not fall in love. He likes you, that’s all. And he doesn’t feel a need to define the relationship or commit to you because you haven’t required it.

My advice: Move on.

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