He Never Wanted Commitment. Can a Person Pretend to Like You?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
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Reader Question:

I dated a guy for seven years and we did everything together. He cooked for me, bought me gifts, took me to his country, but we’ve never actually said we were dating.

When I asked him about it, he said he had no feelings for me, nor did he ever have any intentions of a commitment with me. That was six months ago and I have not heard anything.

Is it possible for a person to pretend they even liked you?

-Cassie (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Cassie, you are not the first woman I have met who is in a long-term undefined relationship. It always amazes me that women will expose their heart, their eggs and their blood steam to a man who they can’t even talk about monogamy with.

But I’m glad to see you took the first step. You asked for definition. And he gave you an answer. He will not commit to you. Waiting around for him is a sure way to waste more of your precious time.

And, to answer your direct question, he didn’t pretend he likes you. He DOES like you. He especially likes that you don’t ask for more and leave him free to pursue whatever he wants.

Remember, men can have sex with the same woman for a long time and not fall in love. He likes you, that’s all. And he doesn’t feel a need to define the relationship or commit to you because you haven’t required it.

My advice: Move on.

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