How To Cope With Exboyfriend Dating Friend

Women's Dating

How to Cope with an Ex-Boyfriend Dating a Friend

Kara Pound

Written by: Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Knowing how to cope with an ex-boyfriend dating a friend is tricky. First of all, you need to put things in perspective. If she’s a good friend and he was a serious relationship, then it’s understandable that the two of them being together would bother you.

On the other hand, if she’s a casual acquaintance and you only went on a few dates with this guy, then you really have no cause to complain. If you’re having a hard time deciding the magnitude of their relationship, ask for some outside guidance and perspective.

OK, so you’ve decided that you are in fact not overreacting to your friend dating your ex. If they refuse to cool things down and break up and you still want the two of them in your life, then you’re going to have to figure out how to deal.

Here are a few tips to handling the situation with dignity and grace.

1. Don’t be fake.

Say there’s a big birthday bash for a mutual friend and you know you’re going to see your friend and ex together there. Don’t be overly nice and fake happiness for them. If you’re having a hard time with their relationship — be honest.

2. Keep a support group.

If you’re going to the aforementioned party, be smart and take a support group with you. Bring a few good girlfriends to lean on in case you get emotional.

3. Don’t ever give an ultimatum.

By asking one of them to choose you over the other, you’re driving a wedge between the three of you that may never be repairable. Don’t ever give either of them an ultimatum.

4. Remember, time heals all wounds.

You’re going through a difficult situation but in a mature and grown-up way. Instead of telling your friend and your ex to go take a long walk off a short bridge, you’re opting to have them remain in your life, even if it’s difficult for you.

Just remember that time will make the situation easier. In three years, you’ll all sit around and joke about the early days.

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