I Regret Sleeping with Him. Does Being Physical Make Women Emotional?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I met this guy two months ago. On the third date, I felt so connected that I ended up sleeping with him. We did some foreplay but couldn’t have sex.

I started worrying and regretting what I did that night. He didn’t seem as affectionate as he was at first. He kept texting me for more than two weeks but didn’t ask me out.

I told him I felt a bit uncomfortable after getting physically intimate too soon. I was not looking for just a fling but more than that eventually. I asked if he wants the same thing. He said he doesn’t know. He suggested becoming friends first. I said yes.

He hasn’t contacted me for two weeks.

Does being too physically intimate make most women emotional like this?

-Emily (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Emily,

Sadly, yes. While there is a population of women who can separate sex and love (not something to brag about, in my opinion), most women tend to become more bonded through sex.

The big biological conflict between the genders is men rarely bond through sex. They can have sex with the same woman for months and not like her one bit more than they did the first night they had sex.

Instead, men fall in love through trust. And many men find it hard to trust a woman who has sex too fast, even if the man pressured for it.

As for your situation, if the two of you have agreed to become friends, then treat him like a friend. Give him a check-in call. Invite him to join you and your friends at some event.

Show him you are happy and not a pool of clingy emotions. But don’t become intimate with him again unless you’re close enough to agree on sexual exclusivity.

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