I’m Not Dating Anyone Else. Does He Assume We’re Exclusive?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!

Reader Question:

I met a guy last year and we’ve been casual friends (and only friends). We started talking daily and he told me that he hasn’t stopped thinking about me since we met. We’ve been out at least once a week and I’ve met his parents. He keeps talking about future plans, so I’m not sure when to have “the talk.”

Does he just assume that we’re exclusive? I’m not dating anyone else and to the best of my knowledge, he’s not either.

-Melissa S. (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Melissa, I LOVE the pace of this relationship. And I also love the order of events – friendship, followed by family, followed by dating. This relationship has all the signs of health.

I have some questions for you to consider: Do the future plans he talks about involve you? Or is he making plans alone and giving you a warning that he won’t be around down the road?

And, what do you really want to say in “the talk”? Are you sure you are ready for an exclusive, committed relationship that will involve sex? And, are you ready to talk about sex, STDs, getting tested, and your feelings of love for him?

If so, by all means, have the talk that will spell out your wishes. The time is now.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.