Nancy Ruth Deen Teaches Clients How to Find Themselves After Ending a Relationship

The Short Version: Breakups can feel devastating, especially when people already feel isolated by the COVID-19 pandemic. Breakup coach Nancy Ruth Deen helps new singles see their breakups as opportunities to reconnect with themselves and what they want. Through one-on-one coaching, classes, and social media posts, Nancy focuses on the intersection between mindfulness, meditation, and post-breakup mental health. She guides new singles on their journey to healing and helps them envision new lives without their exes.

Many people are using the COVID-19 pandemic as an opportunity for introspection. Without spending time running to appointments, meetings, and entertainment venues, people around the world have started to look inward. They also may begin asking questions about their inner desires and needs.

That introspection has caused many couples, including some who had been together for many years, to break up while in quarantine. One law firm in the UK reported seeing a 122% increase in divorce inquiries between July and October 2020 over the previous year.

One reason for that drastic increase in relationship discord is that couples are spending more time together. That can force them to examine their relationships without the aid of regular routines that may allow them to ignore problems.

Nancy Ruth Deen helps clients navigate their way through even the toughest breakups.

Breakup coach Nancy Ruth Deen has also witnessed that trend this year.

“Several people who reached out to me said 2020 was the final straw. It forced couples to confront their issues, and some weren’t able to overcome those challenges,” Nancy told us. “This year was a wake-up call for people who wanted to end their relationships but hadn’t taken that next step.”

Notably, many women have been initiating these divorces. During the COVID-19 pandemic, women in heterosexual relationships in which both partners worked from home were still taking on the bulk of housework and childcare responsibilities.

When couples finally decide to break up, that can often be the beginning of their challenges, not the end. New singles often have trouble adapting to life without their partner.

That’s why Nancy guides people through their post-breakup emotions and helps them turn the focus back on themselves. When they understand their own needs and desires, they can heal from within and move forward with clarity and certainty.

In the mid-2010s, Nancy became a breakup coach because she discovered so few people received advice about moving on from a failed relationship and finding new love. In 2020, Nancy pivoted her brand from a breakup coach to a conscious breakup coach to spread her message that breakups can inspire a meaningful look inward.

“I am a conscious breakup coach, not just a breakup coach. That means I want to help you heal through your breakup in a meaningful, intentional way,” Nancy told us.

Over the last year, Nancy has shifted her coaching work to focus more on mindfulness and meditation. Though she’d always practiced these techniques in her own life, she said she decided to integrate them into her coaching to help her clients.

Nancy teaches her mindfulness techniques in many ways, including through her free 5-Day Mini Breakup Course.

“A lot of my work is inspired by the healing messages people need to hear at a divine time for them. We focus on the top five things that come up time and again,” she said.

Each day, Nancy sends an email message to participants offering them post-breakup encouragement and support. These messages ask new singles to focus on their own needs, develop self-love, and acknowledge what they want in a relationship.

Nancy Ruth Deen offers a three-week course focused on meditation healing through heartbreak.

“Your needs matter. Make this year about you, your feelings, and your inner work,” Nancy told us.

Some people who have recently broken up only want a short course, while others seek support through Nancy’s three-week, meditation-focused program. She designed the course based on her own work in meditation, spirituality, and in the breakup coaching industry.

The course focuses on helping new singles realize that they can be satisfied alone, even if they’re afraid. Nancy encourages her clients to focus on self-love through three weeks of guided meditations.

“Meditation is a healing tool. Every day, people will have meditation that focuses on self-love and letting go of timelines. Or there could be one about forgiving your ex and what healing actually means. Each day has a theme and a meditation. I take them through a journey over 21 days,” Nancy said.

Many relationships faltered in 2020 because couples had to take a hard look at their lives together. When they were isolated with few distractions, some permitted themselves to end partnerships that weren’t working anymore.

“You can’t go outside or spend time with others. You can’t distract yourself in ways you could have in previous years,” said Nancy.

Still, one of the struggles Nancy’s clients face is the “what if?” worry.

“They wonder, would we still be together if there wasn’t a pandemic? A lot of people were preoccupied worrying about what could have been if quarantine hadn’t happened. My clients were going through a different type of grieving process,” Nancy said.

To support them, Nancy offers one-on-one coaching in addition to her five-day and three-week courses. She has 60-minute breakup coaching sessions and versions for singles wanting to start new relationships through her “Learn How to Manifest Your Dream Partner” series.

If someone isn’t going through a breakup or isn’t ready to make a bigger commitment, they can still connect with Nancy’s social media channels to engage with her content.

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Her YouTube channel is filled with videos that encourage clients to be more conscious during their breakups and answer burning questions from her followers. She said she also plans to offer even more meditations to help people become more mindful.

“I’ve created meditations for every mood and feeling you get during a breakup. I want to have an endless library, so people feel supported through the power of meditation. A meditation to stop you from texting your ex. A meditation to release an attachment to your ex,” she told us.

Nancy also has a Facebook group called the Conscious Breakup Collective where new singles can share their stories and ask questions without feeling judged. Group members often share their advice and compassion with others.

Nancy has also discovered that many clients feel stigmatized by others for ending their relationships. They may feel shameful or afraid of life post-breakup, or they may not know where to turn.

“The biggest thing that comes up is someone feeling alone, scared, or judged by talking about a breakup. Sometimes we have friends who are great to us but don’t have the mental space to help us process what we’re feeling,” Nancy told us.

That is why so many singles turn to Nancy after their relationships end. She teaches them that breakups can provide the time to help them learn about themselves and grow.

Nancy hopes that, someday, people will have a different concept of what a breakup means: a return to oneself. She said when singles internalize that message of building a healthier relationship with themselves, they have a shift in their self-pitying or depressed post-breakup mindsets.

“Some people, even in their 50s, have never considered that going through a breakup is about healing their relationship with themselves. It’s not just about getting over your ex. It’s only going to make you stronger and be an important part of your path,” she said.