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The Short Version: Success in dating and relationships isn’t just about good luck — men and women need to understand the skills of romance and love. That’s why Monica Parikh started School of Love NYC to teach vital life lessons that help people find – and foster – real love. Many of her clients lack the role models or experiences to understand how to engage in happy, healthy relationships. Men and women who want to love better and healthier can enroll in School of Love NYC to change their mentality and attract the right partners.
A decade ago, Monica Parikh had the conversation anyone in a marriage would dread: Her husband of 10 years told her he no longer wanted to be married, and then he left her.
It was understandably traumatic for Monica, but, as she allowed herself to heal from the heartbreak, she began to research the underlying factors that help determine whether or not a relationship succeeds.
“I studied human psychology and behavior, and I started to ask questions to understand why my marriage failed,” she said. “Then I moved into the larger question: ‘Why are marriages failing?’” More than 50% of marriages end in divorce, and, of the ones who are still married, only 30% report being happy.”
When she was finally ready to date again, Monica used her experiences as research. She created spreadsheets and studied what she could about relationship psychology and how certain behaviors lead to different outcomes. From 2008 to 2012, she dated approximately 70 men — all while developing and testing her psychological principles for success.
She ended up dating one of those men for four and a half years. After the relationship ended, she delved deeper into principles of higher consciousness and psychology. By that time, online dating methods had evolved exponentially, and seeing how the landscape had changed inspired Monica to turn her research into School of Love NYC, a business that teaches men and women — through tele-courses, private coaching, and ebooks — how to approach relationships with the proper underlying skills.
“I recognized that dating and relationships had been turned on their heads, and not exactly in a good way,” she said. “Technology was fueling not only psychologically bad dating behaviors, but it was also breaking down communication, which is vital to a healthy relationship.”
Monica now teaches clients how to develop the skills necessary to have success in attracting the best partner with whom to share their life. The goal isn’t just to have a successful wedding day — the goal is to have a successful, lifelong relationship.
“We spend a lot of time and energy planning for our big wedding day, but we need to use that energy to plan for the next 50 years,” she said. “That requires us to understand how to relate to each other on a deeper level. If we can embrace that, we can love in a way that we’ve never experienced before.”
School of Love NYC reaches a global audience, and its clients range in age from their late 20s to their early 60s. The clients are very interested in expanding their emotional intelligence and developing themselves to be the model generation of humans.
“A lot of us realize that if we want to have better relationships, we have to evolve into better humans, and that requires us to learn how to relate in ways we’ve never seen in prior generations,” Monica said.
Much of her work is based on the concepts of higher consciousness and developing an understanding of how our childhoods impact the ways we relate to others — for both good and bad.
“Each of us learned good things from our parents and some not-so-good things. It’s about us breaking bad patterns and embracing new forms of communication, so we can be better role models for future generations,” Monica said. “A lot of my work is shedding light on patterns and asking, ‘If you’re the healthiest version of you, what would you do?'”
Frequently, Monica’s clients tell her how important it was for them to learn both dating skills and the underlying relationship psychology when searching for a partner.
One woman, who was fresh from a bad divorce, worked with Monica for two years but was hesitant at first. She would sign up for a workshop, and then she’d proclaim that she didn’t believe in love, never wanted to date again, and was done with it all. But the woman kept learning, attended workshop after workshop, and signed up for private coaching with Monica. After that, she even felt comfortable signing up for an online dating site.
“Now she’s in love with someone, they’re getting ready to move in together, and he’s just completely enamored with her and spoils her to pieces,” Monica said. “I tease her all the time because one of my goals is to attend all of my clients’ weddings all around the world.”
“I want them to be with really loving and empathetic partners. That’s my life work now,” she continued.
Monica’s group classes are scheduled throughout the year, take place via tele-conference, and run for either four weeks or 12 weeks. They range in subjects from boundaries to empathy to forgiveness.
She said she is especially proud of her course on the importance of strong boundaries in a relationship. She explained that there’s usually a partner who has more trouble speaking their truth and declaring their needs and desires, while the other struggles with empathy.
“Both of those things are critical components of healthy, happy relationships. So a lot of my coursework is aimed at teaching people how to approach these difficult conversations,” she said. “Often we expect our partner to be our everything, and when they’re not our everything, we get angry with them out of frustration.”
Monica works to break her clients out of that mindset and help them realize that it takes more than one person in their lives to meet the variety of needs they have. It isn’t fair to expect all of that out of one person.
“Then your romantic partner is just one person in the village of people supporting you,” she said. “That’s the thing people tell me has the biggest impact on their lives.”
After experiencing divorce, navigating the dating world for 10 years, and studying her own patterns, Monica shifted her goal to helping others. School of Love NYC has played a significant role in that aim, but to further her goal, she’s working on her next project titled “Take Back The Power.” It will be the latest project in her series of work, which covers how to best handle breakups, identify emotionally unavailable men, and understand big dating mistakes.
“A lot of people come to me right when their relationships dissolve, and divorces and breakups are some of the hardest experiences to go through in life,” she said. “My latest book is about how you can use the pain of a breakup as a catalyst to become a better version of yourself. The book is a step-by-step breakdown of how you make that transformation, and it’s based on principles of psychology, metaphysics, spirituality.”
Monica also shares relationship tips and advice on living your best life on her blog, and she has plans for new workshops that encompass all of her lessons to help people change more holistically before they enter a relationship. The focus is on their lives, not just a magical wedding day.