Should Men Always Initiate Sex?

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Ideally, it is usually best for men to make the first overt advance that triggers the sexual act. It allows a man to feel manly and lets the woman retain her value and reputation as a lady.

That said, most guys are pretty lousy at picking up the signals you send us, and we prefer to err on the side of gentlemanly behavior if we’re not sure that permission has been given, especially if it’s the first time for a new couple.

It is not only permissible, but much appreciated, when a woman untucks his shirt during a passionate kiss, slips her hand under his shirt, slides her fingertips briefly beneath his belt buckle, or simply asks him if he would like to retire to her room (or his), where they could be more comfortable or have more privacy.

A lady can always use an excuse if she doesn’t want to be too overt or direct: He can listen to your new CD in the bedroom, or you can get out of your tight clothes and into a nighty for comfort. Do what you can to encourage him if he is slow to take a hint. Let all of your actions serve as the permission he is looking for, and let him feel your passion. If all else fails, go ahead and make a move.

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