Women's Dating

What a Guy Means When He Says He “Needs Space”

Guy Blews

Written by: Guy Blews

Guy Blews

Guy Blews can be found at www.RealisticRelationships.com where he offers practical, logical, applicable, original and sometimes brutal advice that is designed to help you thrive in the real world and succeed in the love world.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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I must warn you that what I am about to tell you may not be what you want to read. I would like you to understand I am telling you this to help you, not to hurt you.

When a guy says he needs space, it is not a good thing.

You see, men will usually tell you what they need. Although, more often than not, it is only after extreme pressure has been applied. That pressure may be direct or indirect.

Either way, he has finally said he needs space – from you. This means there is something wrong.

My guess would be he feels confined.

Either you are smothering him physically, which means you are coming across as needy, and that is a turn-off.

Or you are smothering him with suggestions (marriage, children or a new home) and he does not feel ready for whatever it is you are suggesting.

If he needs physical space, then he needs time to assess whether he is into you enough to endure so much time together.

I know in the beginning he was really into it and now he is becoming distant.

But we are no longer “in the beginning” and emotions and expectations have changed on both ends, which means he is assessing the overall picture and the specific details of what it means to be with you a lot of the time.

If he needs space from your “suggestions,” then you should respect his fear.

You see, men are raised to believe they are responsible for the woman they are with, which in turn means they are responsible for the offspring, the sustenance and the shelter of more than one person.

The future looks a lot more serious when you are about to guarantee other people’s safety and security, and this is often a daunting thought that creates a fear-based reaction in him.


“If he needs space from your ‘suggestions,’

then you should respect his fear.”

Your reaction will determine the outcome of this situation.

However, it is imperative you are honest with yourself about his “needs.”

Is it he needs space from you? Or, worse, is it he needs space from you to be with someone else?

When it boils down to it, these are your two choices — you or someone else.

Now is the time for you to look at your relationship as objectively as you possibly can and make an educated guess.

Is he truly needing some space to gather his thoughts, or is he trying to get away for good?

In the second part of this post, I will tell you what to do when a guy says he needs space.

Ladies, has a guy ever told you he needs space? How did you react?

Photo source: njokichege.wordpress.com.

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