When He Has His Son, I’m Out of the Picture. Am I Being Sensitive?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

I have been divorced for six years and feel I am ready to start dating. I have put my profile online, but in the meantime, I met a guy through my job. He initiated the first date and I did the last two dates. At first he would respond to all my texts. Now he does not. When he has his son, I am out of the picture. When he doesn’t have his son, I am in the picture.

Am I being oversensitive? Or is my gut right on? Should I tell him I am going to date other people (since he doesn’t really have the time to foster a relationship)?

-Melissa (Tennessee)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Melissa,

You don’t have to tell him one thing. That’s like saying, “I’m going to tell him to stop calling me because he keeps not calling.”

You haven’t made a commitment to this man, and I hope you haven’t had sex with him. You and he are two free people who can explore compatibility when you have time.

But, let me remind you, exploring compatibility means paying attention to his signals. And I’m glad to hear you are doing that. You’ve initiated the last two dates, so now it’s time to back off and let him lead. If he doesn’t, then you have your answer.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.