Write A Better Valentines Card

Women's Dating

How to Write a Better Valentine’s Card – 5 Tips from a Professional Speech Writer

Amber Brooks

Written by: Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!

You think about the gift, you book the restaurant weeks in advance, but how much thought do you put into what you write in your Valentine’s Day card?

Heidi Ellert-McDermott, founder of the bespoke speech writing service Speechy and author of “The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches” (released July 4th 2023), gave us her advice for writing words that pack a romantic punch. 

Here’s how to avoid the usual clichés and platitudes this February. 

1. Kill the Clichés 

“Words like ‘soulmate’ should be banned. They’re the romantic equivalent of white noise; overused and underwhelming,” said Heidi. “Instead, think about the unique relationship you two share.”

“Is your partner actually your ‘partner-in-crime’, or your ‘favorite Netflix negotiator’, your ‘happy place’ or, just simply,  your ‘favorite human.’” 

Something different always says a lot more. 

2. Be Funny

A Valentine’s card doesn’t need to be overly serious, or even particularly poignant, to be romantic.  

“One of the most effective ways of paying tribute to someone you love is to recognize them as an individual, as opposed to some generic girlfriend or boyfriend,” said Heidi. “Saying you love spending time with them or that they make you feel wonderful, is just boring. Plenty of other people could say the same thing about their partners.” 

Tabletop with Valentine card and heart decoration
Add specific details of your relationship to make your card extra meaningful.

Instead, Heidi advises that you pinpoint the characteristics and quirks that make your partner the awesome individual they are. 

Are they the serious bookworm who likes to give names to inanimate objects, or are they the trainee counselor who still gets road rage? 

Recognise them for who they really are and then your love seems more genuine and meaningful (as well as fun).   

3. Share Memories

Did you fall in love with your partner when you realized they also thought “Pan’s Labyrinth” was the greatest film of all time? Or was it when you spotted them talking to a topiary? Or when they shared their dirty fries with you at Coachella? 

“Memories ignite emotion; so transport your other half to one of your favorite ones,” said Heidi.  

4. Give Promises 

What can you promise your partner that 1) will make them smile and 2) you’ll be able to do? The promise is sweet, but it’s the follow-through that will win someone over every time.

“Don’t bother promising generic nonsense,” Heidi says. “Instead, promise specific things that only they will get! For example, promise that whenever they say ‘fancy a cheesy burrito?’ you’ll always say yes. Or promise them to always do your ‘special’ dance whenever Old Town Road comes on Sonos. Hunt out something meaningful to them.” 

5. Include Lovey-Dovey Quotes 

Sometimes, cleverer, funnier people than you have already managed to sum up what you think is our own unique brand of love. That’s why it’s worth looking up some love quotes to add to your Valentine’s Day card.

“Using a great quote isn’t the same as writing something generic and meaningless,” Heidi reminds us. 

Do all things with love message with a red heart cushion - flat lay
Look up love poems and quotes for romantic inspiration.

Heidi advises, “Think about the films, music, literature that means something to you both and see what you can find there.”

Of course, it depends what they’re into – politicians, Star Wars, rom-coms, comedians – it’s surprising how many sources there are to hunt down a great quote.

You Have to Time it Right to Write the Perfect Card

The perfect Valentine’s Day card is going to be different for each couple. Some couples like to tease each other, while others are more sentimental in expressing their affection.

Ideally, your words should reflect your relationship as it exists now. This way, you can both (hopefully) look back at your card with affection in years to come and immediately transport you back to your dating days.

One last piece of advice: Try not to be too offended if your loving words are put straight into the recycling on the 15th!

Our thanks to Heidi and the Speechy team for their advice on this topic. The award-winning team are on a mission to make wedding speeches better by offering bespoke speech writing services for grooms, brides, parents and the bridal parties in weddings around the world.