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Rejection and online dating. Those are two terms that are pretty much synonymous.
I have been the culprit in rejecting many online dates. I have also been the victim, the one left rejected, confused and staring at my screen wondering what happened. Many times people I was interested in totally just dropped communication, even when I thought things were going fine.
I never get upset about it, though. Am I disappointed that we seem to be breeding a dating culture of flakes? Yes. I do my best not to be that person, so here are some helpful tips to keep in mind if you’ve been rejected online:
Those online matches probably don’t look nearly as good as their pictures or profiles suggest anyway. Never get too invested in someone you’ve never seen in person and never heard speak. Keep this advice close to your heart.
Don’t take it personally. You’re not alone in hating online dating and its perils. Pick up your choir robe and join the chorus because it’s not just you.
There’s a chance you committed a blunder that spooked your paramour. Try to take some ownership over why that may have happened.
Were you reaching out to someone who listed requirements that you did not fit? Could you have been overly aggressive? Was your message generic? There are lots of places to blow it with online dating. If you don’t know, contact an online dating coach. Yes, we exist.
Be honest. Someone has contacted you and you’ve not been interested or simply disappeared. There are so many people online, no one could possibly do every single person justice.
Online dating prospects are like buses, fortunately or unfortunately. There is always another one right around the corner. Pick yourself back up and keep moving along because you never know who you will meet.
You may have dodged bullet. A friend of mine was making plans to meet with an online match when he suddenly went MIA. A couple of days later, she saw his picture on Facebook under “people you may know.” She looked at his profile to discover he had a very current girlfriend.
We don’t hold a monopoly on people we want to date, and everyone can’t date everyone. If this bums you out, go see point #5 again. Believe in yourself, too, because you are always good enough.
Maybe they will come back around. Life can get crazy. Sometimes people drop off and pop back up again at a future time, and then you can be the one to do the rejecting.
Don’t take the dating world too seriously, especially when it’s online and you just met someone new. Not everyone you lose is a loss, and it’s not the end of the universe. You have many dates ahead of you.
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