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Women dating online are taking the lead more often , and they’ve come to realize their success on dating apps is directly related to the quality and attractiveness of their profiles.
Your profile needs to have the best possible photos of you, as well as a description to catch someone’s eye as singles quickly swipe left to take a pass or swipe right with the hope of a mutual match.
To get started, once you post your photos, I recommend you add captions to them with the location and the year they were taken.
While Hinge, Tinder and Bumble allow you to sync your profile with Instagram for up-to-date photos, most dating apps have expanded their profile options — making it easy for a potential date to view your astrological sign (yes that still matters) or political preferences.
Those seeking a serious relationship will quickly scroll down to see if your profile says you’re looking for something casual, or even marriage, so the more specific you can be in checking the boxes that apply to you, the better snapshot your date will get of you before striking up a chat.
I say this because too many women are afraid to say they’re looking for something serious or marriage because they think they’re going to scare away men who don’t want to commit on the spot. Most men say they wish to date a confident woman, which means they don’t want to waste their time connecting with someone who’s relationship goals are different from theirs. If you’re scaring away someone who just wants to hook up, let him swipe left when he sees you’re looking for a long-term relationship.
Example: I’m hoping to meet someone who’d like to fill in the crossword puzzle answers with me on Sunday mornings for years to come.
I often compare a dating profile to a real estate listing. The same marketing tactics apply to both.
If you think about the information in a real estate listing, it’s easy to see the analogy. Before you set out to read the real estate listings, you usually know the neighborhood you’d like to live in, and you are pulled in by a headline and great photos showing curbside appeal. If the listing interests you, you’ll take the time to read the fine print to see if it’s your dream home — or at least one that you’ll visit during an open house or a private listing.
The same strategy works magic for your online dating profile description.
You can’t leave your bio or about me section blank or just write one sentence, as it sends the message that you’re not taking the process seriously.
If you’re creating a profile for the first time, reactivating your profile, or giving your profile a digital facelift, including your disappointments with online dating to it will make you appear like a negative person all around.
Sure, most of us have been on a hamster wheel of one-and-done dates, but taking a fresh and positive approach will draw in a date who may want to find out more about you.
Example: Have I been living under a rock? I’m new to online dating and have seen so many happy success stories. I look forward to changing my relationship status from “me” to “we.”
If I could count the times men have complained to me that every female dating profile looks the same, I could predict the weather forecast in your town a month in advance.
Women frequently use these overused sentences on their profiles.
If your profile includes any of these sentences, delete them now. Instead, replace them with what makes you unique, list your passions, and go from an “I” based profile to a “we” based profile.
Example #1: I hike on Saturdays and consider myself an intermediate hiker. My favorite trail is Eagle Rock in Topanga. Have you ever been?
Example #2: I’ve traveled to 30 countries, and I’m saving my pennies in bulk to go on an African safari to Tanzania.
While men are physical and tend to undress women with their eyes, don’t advertise that you’re sexy, beautiful, look younger than your age, or have the body of a 25-year-old when you’re 39.
By doing so, you’ll run the risk of attracting someone who’s looking for casual sex or repelling someone who might think you’re vain or insecure.
Instead, I recommend something like: “I work out regularly, which includes running five miles a day and taking a yoga class twice a week. And I would like to take golf lessons.”
A message like this shows that you live a healthy and balanced life, care about your physical appearance, and are in tune with a body-mind-life balance, which is refreshing. Plus, a golfer may be able to take you to the driving range on a date. It’s a win-win message.
The reason Bumble is so successful is because once you’ve become a mutual match, the woman needs to make the first move. But is getting to a mutual match that easy? Not if you don’t have a compelling description in your dating profile.
Your first few sentences (and that’s all you should be posting on a dating app profile) need to draw in a potential date, so they think “I need to meet this girl!”
How do you accomplish this? On a dating app, I recommend using emojis with bullet points and descriptions designed for the reader to ask more questions about you. It’s easy on the eyes and makes your profile a bit more fun than that of the average girl’s.
This works because it’s simple. The reader can ask a variety of questions such as “What town did you live in?” “What was the last book you read?” “What’s your favorite Caribbean island?” or “When are you seeing The Eagles? They’re my favorite band, too!”
Adding in a pop quiz based on your profile photos works wonders because every smart guy wants to be smart enough to win you over and get a date. Plus, singles love to compare travel stories.
Of course, your potential date wants to find out what the prize would be for guessing the correct location (or at least have fun trying), or they’ll ask you for clues to solve the answer correctly.
Asking a question usually results in getting an answer. In your dating profile description, I recommend asking one to two questions to help someone who is reading your profile respond and engage in communicating with you.
Example #1: I spent 10 years going to school abroad in London. I enjoyed going to West End theaters on the weekends and met people I’m still in touch with today. Did your school have an overseas program?
Example #2: I’m a political junkie, and, with the current news cycle, I tend to watch MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” before I go to work. Is politics important to you, or is it an off-limits subject?
Example #3: I’m a sucker for lobster mac and cheese but in moderation. What’s your vice?
These days, everyone views their potential date’s profiles on social media, but still the fear of meeting someone who doesn’t look like their profile plagues even the best of daters.
Women have been lying about their age for decades in dating profiles, believing it will help them fit into a search. And men are wary about the accuracy of age in profiles.
To combat this problem, I suggest you post recent photos, a full-length body shot, and a travel or activity shot. Once they’re captioned with the year they were taken, at the end of your profile, it’s time to come clean about your age.
Example #1: My photos are recent, and my age is accurate. I hope you find that refreshing!
Example #2: I’m actually five years older than stated in my profile, and I hope you don’t mind, as my photos are recent.
Whatever you do, don’t blame someone else for not revealing your correct age. If you met someone at a party and clicked, they’d never ask you directly what your age is. While age is a number, a positive attitude, and your confidence as a woman, needs to be expressed in your profile.
According to a Match Singles in America study, 73% of men are comfortable when a woman is the first to say hello on a dating app. However, only 28% of young women take the lead.
Ladies, men are really flattered when they receive your message, as so many guys are frustrated by sending hundreds of messages, with only a few women replying.
Once you’ve matched or are interested in a profile, it’s time to reach out first. On Bumble, where you must reach out within 24 hours, this is what I recommend.
Example #1: Hi [insert name]! Rumor has it you might disappear in 24 hours…
On OkCupid, I recommend taking advantage of the match percentages the algorithms have assigned you, based upon mutual answers to thousands of messages, along with geographical compatibility.
Example #2: Hi [insert name]! OkCupid thinks we’re a 98% match. Are you curious to find out why?
On Match, you also have percentages assigned to you, so try taking an opposite approach to the same message.
Example #3: Hi [insert name]. It looks like we have a lot in common, but Match says we’re 85% compatible. Should we try to figure out the missing 15%?
Know that your profile description will always be a work in progress. Just like your calendar of activities changes regularly, and you update your photos on social media, make sure to rewrite your profile every month to keep it fresh and active. The bonus is your profile might show up higher in a search based on your activity. Good luck!