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Writing your profile is the first step of online dating, but it’s also the most important, and sometimes the most stressful, part. This is what singles will use to determine if they’re interested in you, and if your profile doesn’t attract them within those initial 10 seconds or so, they’ll move on to someone else.
Don’t freak out, though. Getting your profile right is actually pretty easy and straightforward. You just need to follow a few of our tips, which we’ve broken up for women and men, and take inspiration from the helpful examples we’ve provided.
While most profile tips can apply to both men and women, there are some that are specific to each and can make a huge difference in the success you’ll see. So, ladies, here’s how to write a dating profile to attract men, according to our years of experience and numerous studies we’ve looked into.
A couple of studies published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin and reported on by The Huffington Post shows confident, and even overconfident, online daters are considered more desirable. However, there’s a fine line. The studies also found that if you take it too far, then you’ll come off as arrogant instead.
When you’re crafting your profile, there’s no harm in sharing your accomplishments and the qualities you possess that you most admire about yourself and that you can bring to a relationship. But remember to throw in some modesty as well — no one likes a braggadocious date.
Creating a great online dating profile is more than just saying who you are and what your romantic desires are — there’s also some science to it.
Research done by Plenty of Fish says women who found a relationship through online dating used the word “relationship” and similar words 16% more often in their profiles than women who didn’t.
We all have some sort of list in our head about what we’re looking for in a date or partner, and that’s definitely something you should mention in your profile. But you need to find that happy balance between saying what you want and appearing too picky.
Think about how you would feel if you read a guy’s profile that said something like “I want a blonde, blue-eyed woman who isn’t over 5’5″, is a doctor, doesn’t smoke, has never been married, loves dogs but hates cats, enjoys Italian food but hates Indian food, knows every word to every Beatles song, and has visited all Seven Wonders of the World.” OK, that’s an extreme example, but you know what I mean.
Avoid lists like “I want a blonde, blue-eyed man who is over 6 feet tall, is a doctor, doesn’t smoke, has never been married, loves dogs but hates cats, enjoys Italian food but hates Indian food, knows every word to every Beatles song, and has visited all Seven Wonders of the World.”
It’s unlikely that you’ll find someone who can check off all the things on your list, and you probably can’t check off everything on his list either. Plus, that’d be kind of boring, right? So, pick the most important qualities you’re looking for and be more specific about those instead of creating an exhaustive list. For example, “Volunteering for my local Humane Society is my true passion, and I’d love to find someone who cares about animals, too.”
WIRED recently conducted a study that analyzed data from OkCupid and Match to identify the words the most successful dating profiles had in common. Besides talking generally about relationships, the researchers suggest you should also try to work in words like “surfing” and “yoga.”
You don’t have to actually be into surfing or yoga to use these words, though. Even something as simple as “I love working out and tried yoga for the first time a few months ago, but I’m more of a spin class kinda girl” will do the trick.
Most dating sites, like Match.com, offer tons of advice to make the profile writing process smoother. Make use of their blogs, help pages, live chat features, and pop-ups, which will let you know things like your About Me section is too short or your main photo is too dark.
Guys, you can most certainly make use of the tips above, but we’d recommend you pay extra attention to the advice below, as it all pertains to you. Here’s how to write a dating profile to attract women.
If you’re going to follow one piece of advice from this article, make it this one. Using proper spelling and grammar in your dating profile is vital, especially for men.
A study by Grammarly, a writing-enhancement app and browser add-on, shows men with just two spelling mistakes in their dating profile are 14% less likely to get a response. Sorry, fellas, but the study also shows that this doesn’t apply to women. Before you put your profile out there for the world, and a potential date or partner, to see, use a tool like Grammarly, ask someone else to look it over, or, at the very least, keep an eye out for the red squiggle when you’re typing.
It’s easy for someone to say be funny, but humor comes in all forms. Whether you’re sarcastic, dry, straightforward, witty, or self-deprecating, show that off in your profile.
You can tell a joke that you know works, use a quote from a comedy show or a movie, or just make some observations about life’s quirks. This will definitely pay off, as proven by eHarmony, who found single women rank funny among the top 10 words they find enticing in an online dating profile.
We’ve all heard that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and in the case of online dating, science says it’s true. The University of North Texas, Barts, and the London School of Medicine teamed up to figure out what makes for the best dating profile, particularly in terms of a headline, and they say one factor is mirroring. This is when you do things like use similar language or express similar interests as the person you’re interested in.
So, when you’re browsing a dating site and find a profile that catches your eye, ask yourself why and then mimic those things in yours. Now, don’t go and copy the entire profile, but stick with the overall themes that worked for you.
We’re not trying to burst anyone’s bubble, but it’s probably only a good idea to talk about sex in your dating profile if you’re on a site just for that, like BeNaughty, not a mainstream one like Match, Zoosk, or eHarmony.
There’s no judgment here, but there’s a time and a place for everything, and women are less likely to take you seriously if it seems like that’s what you’re all about.
If your profile just stops without something to encourage women to reach out to you, that’s a missed opportunity. End it with some sort of CTA such as “Want to know more? Shoot me a message, and I’ll tell you” or “If you love Star Wars just as much as I do, swipe right and tell me which one’s your favorite!”
Try a CTA such as this but personalized to you: “If you love Star Wars just as much as I do, swipe right and tell me which one’s your favorite!”
Usually, men are the ones who tend to initiate the first message, so why not try and switch things up? What can it hurt?
None of us come out of the womb knowing how to write an Internet dating profile — that would just be weird. It’s something that takes time and a bit of research, but once you make it perfect, you’ll be seeing dividends in the form of right swipes, messages, and dates!