I’m a Hopeless Romantic with Baggage. Is There Any Hope for Me?

Brian Rzepczynski

Written by: Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW, is “The Gay Love Coach." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs and teleclasses, please visit www.TheGayLoveCoach.com.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I have borderline Asperger syndrome, anxiety/panic/depression that is controlled by meds and PTSD.

The Asperger’s forces me to disclose everything whether its appropriate or not. I’m a hopeless romantic with all of this baggage. I usually torpedo things by the third date.

Is there any hope for me?

-Frank (Rhode Island)

Brian Rzepczynski’s Answer:

Hi Frank!

We all bring “baggage” to the table in some form or fashion, and what may pose as a deterrent for dating for some guys, may actually be a redeeming quality for others.

You must remember attraction is in the eye of the beholder. There absolutely is hope, and it’s the differences among us that make life more interesting and stimulating.

We all have some crosses to bear in life, and to address the challenges you possess, it will be important to leverage your assets and avoid leading with these issues by being yourself and letting your personhood shine through.

While you will realistically need to address your circumstances with dating prospects at some point, you are not defined by your diagnoses. They are a part of who you are, yet there are also many other significant aspects of your identity that make you multidimensional.

The key is to be authentic and comfortable with who you are..warts and all! When we do this, it exudes confidence that is appealing to others and can be quite magnetic.

Additionally, we find the things that have become such a focus to ourselves are really not necessarily concerns or deal-breakers to other people.

Embrace your baggage, continue to work hard on personal growth and be sure to take good care of yourself throughout any stage of the dating and relationship process so you can remain emotionally healthy and in tip-top shape! All the best!

Dr. Brian

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