How To Avoid Lesbian Mind Games

Lesbian Dating

How to Avoid Lesbian Mind Games

Mary Gorham Malia

Written by: Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

Mary G. Malia, founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach, is a certified singles coach, strategic intervention coach and author of the book "The Gay Girl’s Guide to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps." She’s known as the leading resource and expert for lesbians who want to move past the barriers to finding love and lasting relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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We all play head games. Some of us just play head games with women we date, but all of us play head games with ourselves.

Here are a few of the dating games that lesbians can play:

1. “There are no lesbians to date!”

This is normally said emphatically and with emphasis. You’re convinced there are no potential matches around you. That’s a head game, gay girls!

2. “I will never get over her!”

Said with a definite sense of pain somewhere in your body, your mind is reviewing all the things you adored about your ex-girlfriend, but you’re not remembering all the ways the two of you didn’t work and never could.

Can you say “head game”?

3. “I’m too…”

Old! Young! Busy! Shy! Late! Pick anything.

Oh my, these are head games for sure. Which one are you playing with yourself?

4. “I can’t…”

Ask anyone out! Stand online dating! Find time to date! Fill in the sentence with your “can’t.”

All your can’ts will come true, my friends. Believe them and they have all the power they need to show up in your life.

Again, this is another head game that’s killing your chances to find love.

These are just a few examples of the dating games you play that stop you cold from finding love.

The smartest people in the world will tell you that what’s going on in your head is showing up in your life.

As the Gay Girl Dating Coach, I work with my clients to move past mental barriers and take action to create love and an amazing life.

Change how you think and you will change how you feel.

This is obvious, right? But you’re not putting it into action in your dating life.

When you do, you discover optimism and hope arrives and stays for long visits instead of depression and discouragement.

One way to change how you’re thinking is to move your body. Get involved in exercise. Join a group program or enlist a friend so you are committed to showing up and moving your body.

The real trick here is to make the exercise vigorous enough that you have to stop thinking about your lost relationship, loneliness or whatever you’re thinking that keeps you in the pits about dating.

When we exercise our bodies, we exercise our emotions and they shift and change.

Take a note next time you push yourself just a little bit harder physically and notice that you feel different when you’re finished.

Get committed to exercising your mental and emotional health.

Do this daily if need be in order to shift the head game that keeps you feeling like a loser.

You’re not a loser, too old, too young or anything else limiting. You just tend to believe it and live like it. Open your head to the idea that you are creating what you feel and make the shift.

Get your body engaged in the shift by moving your muscles, engaging your breathing and getting more oxygen into your system, and you’ll enjoy major shifts in how you feel.

When you feel better about you, your lesbian dating life will get better, too.

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