I’m Scared I Missed the “Love Boat.” How Do I Get Started?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

I’m a 38-year-old gay man. I have spent my entire adulthood working my ass off, going to school, then working my ass off again.

I am scared I missed the “love boat.” I am sure I am not the only one out there looking for love in their late 30s.

How do I get started, and how do I attract men at my age?

-Moe (Michigan)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Memo to Moe: 38 is the new 28. You are young enough to go for it.

I mean, why rush anyway? You don’t have a fertility window to worry about. And I’ll bet your education and career achievements will make you very attractive on the dating market.

I suspect you may have been tainted with the focus on youth that pervades the gay culture. But I know many happy gay couples who meet in middle age or later.

If you can reframe your idea of what old is, then other people will reframe it, too.

Go out. Have a good time. You deserve love!

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