How to Be a Good Girlfriend to Your Senior Boyfriend

Whether you call him your boyfriend, significant other, partner, or mate, it’s time to update your dating rule book as a senior woman if you want to know how to be a good girlfriend. Those old guidelines most people followed when you were younger don’t apply now.

No matter what your situation (i.e. divorced or your loved one passed away), here are a few tips to help you make the most of your girlfriend status:

Sure, during the early dates, he’s likely being a bit of the traditional gentleman and planning everything. However, by your third month together, be sure to plan some dates yourself to show him you care.

Google “fun things to do in my area” or check Facebook Events to see what looks entertaining, enriching, and stimulating. Try to put some variety into your dates. One challenge many seniors face — but is true for couples of any age — is allowing your relationship to slip into a rut. Be a great senior girlfriend by infusing some fresh activities and adventures into your life together. Freshness and fun nourish romance!

Keep reading books. Explore the world. Go on bicycle rides. Attend the theater. Pack a picnic and go to the park. Ice skate in the winter. Celebrate your town’s homecoming. Whatever it is, keep challenging yourself. If your life is watching movies on the couch every night, you need to get up, get moving, and get out of the house.

Keep learning new things and picking up new skills — that will make you interesting.

Senior men are attracted to women who are interesting in and of themselves. They find intelligence and your having your own interests stimulating. Of course, learning a few new yummy recipes to cook for him will make him feel happy at home with you, too.

Be sure to plan a future together. No longer are your lives focused on climbing the career ladder. Instead, it’s time to get off that ladder and rethink how you two want to live your lives after 50 and in retirement.

Many senior couples envision traveling. Will it be across the States? Do you want to do philanthropic trips? Study programs on location? There are numerous options at all different price points.

Be sure that you suggest and share your dreams with him and ask that he share his dreams with you. Many men have spent years devoted to their careers, and they haven’t had the room to voice their hopes and aspirations outside of work. Share yours and seek out his. And then listen, affirm, and encourage!

I could write a whole book on this topic. Every man simply craves to be seen by his woman as the marvelous man he truly is. Every little thing he does is to care for your coupledom. Taking the trash out. Holding the door for you. Treating your kids well. Loving the pets you two have together.

Commend him. Appreciate him verbally. Let him see your smile light up your face. You’re the only one who has that special capacity to see his wonderfulness and reflect it back to him.

When you two are around other people, tell them the things you love about your senior boyfriend. Your words of praise will mean the world to him.

We all need to hear kind words about ourselves every now and then.

Whether Words of Appreciation is his primary Love Language or not, he’ll probably eat it up. Men feel masculine and fulfilled when their woman shows appreciation and gratitude in front of others.

Try to leave your previous loves in the past and not talk about them too much. Your boyfriend knows you’ve had relationships in the past, and so has he. But do you two really want to rehash those feelings every week?

Instead, any hard feelings you may still harbor about your ex, share them with a trusted girlfriend, your book club, or your therapist. But not your senior boyfriend. He doesn’t want to hear it, and it doesn’t stimulate the romantic sizzle between you two.

On the flip side, if you’re widowed like I am, your senior boyfriend also probably doesn’t want to always hear about how amazing your late husband was. Of course, it’s perfectly fine to talk about him every now and then or even share your feelings if it’s the anniversary of his death.

Just don’t make these topics the focus of all your conversations. It’s a quick way to deflate the balloon that is your new relationship.

As we age, one of the most attractive human character attributes is kindness. We all appreciate it when someone opens the door when we’re carrying in the groceries, drops us off for surgery, accompanies us on a walk with the dog, and just assists us, in general.

When it comes to being in a relationship, you’ll be interacting with his adult children, his parents, and his friends. Cultivating kindness will serve you well in the long run. Love and kindness are the glue that hold a senior relationship together. Plus kindness makes us more attractive to our senior boyfriend as a mate.

Sex is different after 50

. He may be experiencing erectile dysfunction, while you may be having some libido shifts. However, that doesn’t mean you two can’t still please each other.

Research some medical options online as well as with your doctor, read books about senior sex, and maybe even visit a sex therapist.

Even though sex is probably different now than it was when you were younger, it doesn’t mean you two still can’t have it.

Most importantly, though, let him know you still find him attractive in that way, and he’ll do the same for you. We all need a bit of encouragement, and receiving kind, sexy words from our romantic partner every now and then feeds our self-esteem.

Kindness, appreciation, and gratitude matter now more than ever before in life. Not only will having these traits help you be a good girlfriend to your senior boyfriend, but having these traits will also help nourish your own happiness and enhance your well-being. It’s a win-win!