Gottman Institute Helps Relationships Grow


The Gottman Institute Uses Research-Based Approaches to Help Relationships Heal and Thrive

Ashayla Blakely

Written by: Ashayla Blakely

Ashayla Blakely

Ashayla Blakely is an experienced storyteller who has fun writing authentic and relatable content for As a hopeless romantic, Ashayla has always enjoyed sharing good conversation and advice about dating. She graduated with a bachelor's degree in Telecommunications from the University of Florida. She is currently enrolled in the graduate program at Florida State University's film school. You can often catch her with a script in her hand, calling out the shots in her many directorial roles on set.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!

The Short Version: The process of living life with your partner can be a beautiful journey where love, trust, and support are the backbone of your relationship. But – no matter how much we want it to be – life is not always sunshine and rainbows. Learning how to support your partner through the different obstacles that life will throw at you two can be challenging at times.  Thankfully, the Gottman Institute provides programs dedicated to repairing and strengthening marriages while implementing authentic methods to help couples overcome trials that may come their way!  

Marriage is truly a beautiful thing! It’s something that most people dream of having and continuously work toward obtaining. Despite all the hype, it’s safe to say that marriage also comes with its fair share of challenges that many like to ignore. In our world today, it seems like there is no longevity in marriages. 

According to a Marriage and Divorce study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there are over 689,308 divorces every year. That daunting number can make even the most devoted hopeless romantic lose faith. Thanks to the Gottman Institute, the hope in marriage is reignited. To help bring couples closer together, the team at the Gottman Institute implements new strategies for couples to bridge their differences and create new ways to grow with each other.

Picture of John and Julie Gottman.
Julie and John Gottman have helped countless couples heal their relationships.

The Gottman Institute was founded by John and Julie Gottman. They wanted to shift the lives of all those who were willing to learn how to thrive in their relationships. The Gottman Institute has decades of research and therapist practice that make it a great resource for couples to rely on for relationship advice. They have dedicated their lives to helping couples understand each other on a deeper level. 

It’s easy to allow differences to dictate our actions and words in our relationships. Saying the wrong thing can scar a relationship forever. That’s why the Gottman Institute mission is to help couples overcome those hard moments and learn how to effectively communicate with their loved ones. 

With over 50 years of research dedicated to changing the dynamics of relationships and creating a stronger bond between lovers, the Gottman Institute is more than equipped to help couples tackle their problems. 

Recovering from Conflicts and Moving Forward 

No one wants to stay mad at their boo for a long period of time. Putting an argument behind you and moving forward for the sake of your relationship is something everyone will have to do at some point in time. The Gottman Institute has many digital resources available for couples to manage their growth together and learn new problem-solving skills. 

Couples can check out video packages where the Gottmans discuss diverse topics that couples may encounter in their relationships. These topics include: building a life together, feeling seen and heard, and making up after arguments. People also have access to virtual blogs that share great advice for those busybodies always on the go. 

The Gottman Institute logo.
Singles learn how to be better partners for their future relationships.

Some couples may need more than a therapy session to help them overcome their relationship problems –– and that’s OK! The Gottman Institute offers couples a getaway to a private retreat on Orcas Island where they can solve their problems in luxurious surroundings. Retreats are a great opportunity for couples to have a more intimate setting. At the retreat, people learn how to be vulnerable with their partner and get to relearn one another. Couples get to tap into some new communication skills, intensify their intimacy, and understand how much they value one another. 

Differences come up and that’s a normal part of life, but sometimes they can bring out the most stubborn and prideful version of ourselves. This can lead to prolonged arguments, emotional overload, and even neglect of your partner’s feelings. The Gottman Institute emphasizes conflict management, learning how to properly mitigate differences and not go to bed mad at each other. Resolving arguments and focusing on the love that you two have for each other is key to sustaining the relationship.

For couples to understand the source of their disputes, they have to identify the perpetual problems that occur. The Institute understands that 69% of problems that couples face are perpetual problems — relationship conflicts that are not actually resolvable. That means more than half of the issues that occur are the same just in different scenarios. Learning how to navigate through these problems is key to keeping your relationship afloat. 

Learning How to Love Out Loud With No Shame

Just like there are multiple ways to express love, there are multiple learning exercises that teach couples how to love each other in new ways. The Gottman Institute uses an exercise tool, 30 days to a better relationship, to help people learn about and understand their partner. 

Learning how to love your partner is something you will never stop doing. Couples should  always make room to learn new tactics on how to express their love to their significant other. The Gottman Institute helps facilitate healthy skills for couples to operate on a higher scale so they appreciate their partner and develop meaningful practices with each other to reinforce love and security.

“Developing a strong sense of friendship and excellent conflict management skills can help a relationship go far,” said Clinical Director and Contributor Don Cole. 

Screenshot from website.
Singles can get advice from Gottman’s relationship coaches for their dating needs.

Loving your partner as they want to be loved requires you to recognize them as an individual. Love is supposed to come with acceptance, no expectations, and a willingness to create a safe space for freedom of expression to manifest. The Gottman Institute reminds couples to give each other autonomy and space to grow as individuals. This has been proven to help relationships in the long run. 

The Gottman Institute also offers diverse workshops that build foundations of trust and cooperation. These workshops are hosted by diverse therapists and encourage an open style of learning and acceptance. Couples give the Gottman Institute praise for creating such an open and fun space to learn.  

“I attended the Art and Science of Love workshop with my fiancé,” Elizabeth, a Gottman Institute client, wrote in a review. “It was high quality and helped us learn how to protect our relationship. We especially enjoyed the teaching on conflict management and how to create a better friendship together.”

The Gottman Institute Provides Therapy Referrals to Couples

Sometimes it takes more than one session to figure things out, and it would be even better to have someone to guide you both through the steps together. Through the Gottman Referral Network, The Gottman Institute offers a directory of trained relationship therapists  for couples who want help along their love journey.

Having this kind of help gives the relationship access to an unbiased opinion to bring clarity to conflicted issues and develops skills for discussing them. From the beginning, couples take an assessment that therapists use to gain a better understanding of the couple and how to properly assist them.   

Having a listening ear goes a long way in a relationship. Understanding the difference between listening and hearing is vital for couples. Couples who need help learning how to listen to one another can find the Gottman Institute useful. The Gottman Institute offers referrals for couples who need an ally that’s willing to listen when there are miscommunication problems in the relationship.

We can expect more from the Gottman Institute in the future. The Gottman Institute is a well of resources that takes couple relationships to the next level. With the institute’s help, hundreds of relationships evolve into a new, fun, and loving place where couples can finally have their needs met and understood. 
“Me and my husband of 33 years are living for the Gottman Institute in this beautiful season of life. It’s amazing how you never stop learning how to make your love blossom. I recommend it to everyone who hasn’t stopped learning,” said a couple in a testimonial